In 2009, Peter watched through the first five seasons of Lost for the first time, live-tweeting all thoughts as he had them. Nicknames were created, awards were invented and dispensed, and predictions were made. If you’ve never seen Lost (or even if it’s been a while), these may not make much sense.
[[Episode 1]]
Watching through Lost for the first time, have never seen it before. Starting at season 1 episode 1. Here we go!
Shots of a forest from a low angle. What is this, Life on Mars?
Oh good. He’s left the forest, wandered onto a beach. I don’t recognise the actor – does that indicate this character’s not going to last long?
Oooh, a jet engine still running. I will be sincerely disappointed if no-one gets sucked into that engine.
Awesome!
Random redshirt, sucked into the jet engine.
AND THEN IT EXPLODED.
JJ Abrams sure knows what the audience wants.
Hey, the big guy with the long black hair. I know him. I’ve seen him on various promos for the show.
Jet wing fell over, AND THEN IT EXPLODED. Two explosions in the first few minutes. “Start as we mean to go on”?
Ignoring the pregnant lady (who didn’t get any dialogue), our main character (who I just learned is a doctor) is convincing a lady to to stitch him up. The “First Girl” rule would indicate that she is going to be his love interest for the series. We’ll see!
This guy is a hot topless wounded doctor
With tattoos.
He’s just trying too hard to be sexy. I bet it worked on the audience, but NOT ME.
Oh great, now he’s revealing his dark past. And he’s being heroic. Now all he needs to do is brood and play the guitar.
And introducing…hot bitchy female. My money’s on her softening her tough exterior either gradually throughout the series, or in this ep.
I love watching a new show for the first time. So many characters, but in a few episodes, you know you’ll be familiar with them all.
Oh, for christ’s sake…the doctor is also a pilot. (well, “took a couple of flying lessons”.)
“I saw some smoke” – if I remember correctly, this show features a…”smoke monster” or something?
Hey, an Aussie!
What the crap is happening? (loud noises, the forest is going bananas.)
I get the feeling I’ll be asking that question a lot.
During an aeroplane crash is one of the few times I completely condone the use of shaky-cam.
Slowly picking up characters names. First Girl is Kate.
She’s currently stealing shoes off a dead body. Very Nobby Nobbs of her.
I hope that Scar-face Orange-mouth doesn’t ever get a name, so I can keep calling him Scar-face Orange-mouth.
I can’t place Beard-guy Monkey-ear’s accent. Irish?
So far,
Most intriguing character: Scar-Face Orange-mouth.
Most likeable character: Beard-guy Monkey-ears.
Least likeable: Hot Bitchy Female.
I’ve heard bits and pieces about this show over the years. All the plane’s passengers are connected Orient-Express-style, right?
Also, they find…like, a door in the ground? And they meet a group known as “The Others”. That is literally all that I know.
Beard-face Monkey-ear’s name is “Charlie”. Still no idea of the doctor’s name.
“Has anybody…” “Not yet.”
Has anybody what??
Died? Yes, dozens of people.
I suppose he could have meant “contacted us”, but that’s unclear.
Oooh. Charlie was doing something suspicious in the bathroom. A new mysterious layer added to my favourite character!
Until further evidence arrives, I’m going to assume that they’ve crashed on Skull Island, and it’s King Kong eating the dead passengers.
Man, they are really into shaky-cam on this show.
Charlie’s foot is trapped in vines. Yeah, nice attempt to increase the stakes but I know he won’t die. He’s too cool.
I’ve heard that Lost answers almost no questions, so I’m guessing we’ll never know:
-what the monster is
-what Charlie had in the bathroom
-what the doctor’s name…oh, they just named him. “Jack”.
Oooh, lovely focus pull. One of the most effective focus pulls I’ve ever seen. (onto the water’s reflection)
And thus ends Lost episode 1.
My verdict so far: Like “King Kong” meets “Predator” meets “Lord of the Flies” meets “House M.D.”
Meets “Lost”.
[[Episode 2]]
So Charlie is claiming that he was throwing up in the bathroom, but my money’s on him trying to find his drugs.
Oh. I was right.
I feel…underwhelmed.
Oh cool. I hope we get to see the plane’s crash from every character’s point of view. One per episode.
Haha, Hot Bitchy Female is sun-bathing while everyone else works. Could she be any more stereotypically hot and bitchy?
My theory: the plane crash was orchestrated to kill everyone on board for various reason. The band didn’t want a druggie bassist…the other doctors were tired of Jack getting all the girls, the pregnant lady’s husband didn’t want a kid.
and everyone just hated Hot Bitchy girl.
If I’m ever in a plane crash, I’m not going to be at all helpful. I’m not a doctor, electrician, hot bitchy female…
Instead of explosions, like the first episode, this one has hot girls in their underwear. Again, two in the first few minutes…
Blood, explosions, hot girls in their underwear…this is very much a guy’s show.
“Wait for me to-”
“He said the batteries won’t last.”
Um, take them out? Turn it off for 10 minutes? It’s not rocket surgery.
Okay, so my choices have shifted.
Most intriguing character: Electrician Guy.
Most likeable: Big guy with long hair.
Least likeable: Cruel Asian Man.
Ever since the drugs, I’ve gone right off Charlie. And Hot Bitchy Girl is too two-dimensional to really dislike.
For the first five episodes of every TV show, all the characters should just wear name-tags. Would make my life a lot easier.
Dogs aren’t allowed on planes are they? Surely there are rules against that.
Scar-face Orange-man is playing backgammon against himself. So cute.
“Backgammon’s the oldest game in the world.”
What about prostitution, Scar-face Orange-man?
Is he trying to make backgammon some kind of elaborate metaphor?
There are a lot of Australians on this show.
Woah, cool. Angry Man just shot a polar bear. AND THEN IT EXPLODED.
Big Guy with Long Hair just made me laugh. First laugh so far. I hadn’t even noticed, but it’s not a particularly funny show.
“Hurley”. Big Guy’s name is Hurley.
Second laugh of the show – “I just shot a bear!” I have long maintained that bears are the funniest animal. Polar bears especially so.
Another crash flashback. (hereafter referred to as “crashbacks”.) Kate is a criminal! Nice twist.
My prediction is that they run out of crashbacks by episode 5.
Scene on the hill with the radio filmed by Michael Bay. The camera has not stopped moving once.
Angry Angry Man is quickly becoming a contender for least likeable character. Even if he did shoot a polar bear.
I can’t deny it; this show builds a good mystery. End of episode 2.
[[Episode 3]]
Season 1, episode 3. – the first one with a “previously on”.
“Don’t trust her, she’s dangerous.” My guess is that Kate is secretly a polar bear.
Oh!! Angry Man is Sawyer. I’ve heard that name a lot.
Haha, the plane left from Australia. That explains why there are so many Aussies.
Hurley: “Was it a dinosaur? You didn’t see it, it might be a dinosaur!”
More evidence for my Skull Island theory.
No, you fools! Don’t give the gun to Kate. She’s a polar bear! She’s going to seek revenge for her fallen brother!
Oh man, this Aussie farmer is awesome. He is my new favourite character. I hope he gets his own spin-off. “Lefty the farmer.”
Oh Kate and Jack, you guys have to be honest with each other! Don’t let lies get in the way of your sexual tension!
Hurley is the Scooby Doo of this show.
Every time anyone hears a noise and turns around, I assume they’re going to find a polar bear. I am frequently disappointed.
Come on Cruel Asian Man, do something to make me warm to you. Shoot a polar bear!
I was trying to work out a term for non-crash-related “crashbacks”, when I realised they were just called “flashbacks”.
Oh Aussie doctor, you should marry Kate, and have one-armed Aussie criminal babies.
Most intriguing character: Kate.
Most likeable character: Lefty the Aussie Farmer.
Least likeable: Cruel Asian Man.
Nooo! Aussie Farmer, why?? Why would you do that? You are no longer my pick for “Most likeable character“.
Aussie Farmer is called “Ray”
Scar-face Orange-mouth is called “Mr Locke”.
Sawyer is Kate’s shoulder-devil. She already seems pretty evil, does she even need a shoulder-devil?
Dying-cop-man, your cryptic comments might be good for keeping the mysteries going, but they’re just shitting me off at the moment.
It’s surprisingly confusing seeing all these cars driving on the left. Television-cars drive on the right, it’s a fact.
NO! Lefty!! I know I wasn’t your biggest fan, but don’t die!!
Oh, “Kate” seems to be her real name. That’s surprising.
I was looking forward to her being a Mrs Reynolds sort of character.
Kate is holding steady for “most intriguing” character. Moments of pure sweetness, shady past, has a gun.
Jack looks like a mix of Ben Affleck and Adam Sandler.
Sawyer, don’t throw away your cigarette. You’re stranded on an island, there’s no corner-store to buy a new packet from.
You are going to want that later.
Mr Locke is on the beach, trying to summon King Kong with his whistle.
Awww! He found the puppy! He’s become a serious contender for Most likeable.
Jack’s voice is suddenly really nasal. Sounds like he’s doing a nerd impression. He hasn’t always sounded like that, has he?
Oh Jack, you prat.
Jack: “I don’t want to know what you did.”
That’s nice, but the audience does!!
Current theories:
-Hot Bitchy Girl and Hot Bitchy Girl’s Brother aren’t really brother and sister.
-Mr Locke knows more than he’s letting on.
-Vincent (the dog) will save someone’s life.
-Pregnant Australian girl’s baby is a polar bear.
They just ended a happy song with a shot of Mr Locke, and suddenly there was DRAMATIC MUSIC. Lazy lazy mystery-building.
And so ends episode 3.
[[Running tally:]]
Most intriguing: (three-way tie) Scar-faced Orange-mouth (Mr Locke) at 1, Electrician Guy (Sayeed) at 1, Kate (Kate) at 1.
Most likeable: (three-way tie) Beard-face Monkey-ears (Charlie) at 1, Big Guy with Long Hair (Hurley) at 1, Lefty the Aussie Farmer (Ray) at 1
Least likeable: Cruel Asian Man (Jin) at 2, Hot Bitchy Female at 1
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