Lost, Season 1: Episodes 13-15

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In 2009, Peter watched through the first five seasons of Lost for the first time, live-tweeting all thoughts as he had them. Nicknames were created, awards were invented and dispensed, and predictions were made. If you’ve never seen Lost (or even if it’s been a while), these may not make much sense.
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Lost
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[[Episode 13]]
Peter:
Episode 12 definitely wins “least compelling cliffhanger” so far, by the way.
Peter:
I can’t help but wonder if Sayeed and Shannon are going to get together.
Peter:
Shannon’s brother’s flashback episode! (my earlier theory about them not being brothers/sisters may be confirmed or denied)
Peter:
Locke: “Be nice to Sayeed. We may need him on our side.”
Peter:
Our side?? Locke seems to be predicting some sort of war. Against…the island?
Peter:
Of course, Locke is crazy for the island, so that doesn’t really make sense. Perhaps against the Others.
Peter:
Apparently this episode is going to be about Hurley’s bowel movements. Joy.
Peter:
Kate and Jack are being extremely civil.
Peter:
The writers: “Crap! They haven’t been pleasant lately. How can we make them have sex if they’re not on speaking terms??”
Peter:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Locke is awesome. His metaphors alone make him cooler than the other characters put together.
Peter:
It’s really incredibly obvious that they didn’t actually film the Australian scenes in Australia.
Peter:
This “typical Aussie house” that Boom is visiting looks like it came straight out of Desperate Housewives.
Peter:
Maybe this is an obvious one, but my prediction is that Boom is gay.
Peter:
Locke!! No!!! Why is it that as soon as I express my love of a character, they hit someone else in the back of the head with a knife??
Peter:
Okay, so he’s doing a “sink or swim” thing. Locke continues to be incredibly awesome. Psychotic, but I still love him.
Peter:
“She’s your step-sister.”
Peter:
God damn I rock.
Peter:
Is…is that Sawyer, being arrested during this police station scene?
Peter:
Again, this really clearly wasn’t filmed in Australia. He is using an American hose to clean that dock.
Peter:
I can’t work out how accurate those Aussie cops were. On one hand, they were portrayed like how US cops are always shown…
Peter:
…on the other hand, Aussie cops would no doubt be quite horrible to a visiting Yank.
Peter:
The Island is inventing a Shannon to motivate Boom to escape.
Peter:
Either that, or it’s Locke impersonating her. I wouldn’t put it past him.
Peter:
Oh, okay. There actually was a Shannon there. Again, I’m guessing Locke’s responsible.
Peter:
Do we EVER actually get to see this damned monster?
Peter:
My prediction: no.
Peter:
My favourite Locke quote: “I have looked into the eye of this island, and I saw that it was beautiful.”
Peter:
Early on. 4th episode?
Peter:
Sun (to Kate): “Have you never lied to a man you loved?”
Peter:
This would be the perfect opportunity for a flashback, if it wasn’t Boom’s turn.
Peter:
Jack just gave Charlie a pill. He’s not back on the drugs is he?
Peter:
Oh. Apparently aspirin helps with heroin withdrawal. That seems as likely as a bandaid helping with terminal cancer.
Peter:
“If there is one man I’d put my trust in to save us all, that man would be John Locke.”
Peter:
-this is why Charlie lived. So he could say that line.
Peter:
Guava seeds! The Big Green House, my Brisbane abode, had a guava tree. Guavas are awesome.
Peter:
“He tied us up, Boom. Why?”
Peter:
YOU DO NOT QUESTION JOHN LOCKE
Peter:
The monster has only appeared twice now, both times soon after rain. Coincidence?
Peter:
Holy fuck, is Shannon being eaten by the monster?
Peter:
“You brought the money because you’re in love with me.”
Peter:
That’s why I thought they weren’t really brother and sister. Could sense the sparks.
Peter:
Of course, a great double-twist now would be for them to find out that they ARE brother and sister, after they’ve slept together.
Peter:
(it will never happen. American TV avoids that kind of thing at alllll costs.)
Peter:
Predictions:
Peter:
-The monster is a toenail clipping that John Locke trimmed off one day.
Peter:
-Shannon won’t be dead after all.
Peter:
-Jack and Kate kiss.
Peter:
He’s found a wounded and bloodied Shannon, but there’s still hope. Remember Charlie!
Peter:
Oh, wow. It WAS an imaginary Shannon, created by the island. Shouldn’t have doubted myself.
Peter:
“That wasn’t real?” “It was only as real as you made it.”
Peter:
Prediction: -This island is the matrix?
Peter:
So far, Locke has:
Peter:
-provided food for the entire island
Peter:
-got Charlie off drugs
Peter:
-given Boom a spiritual awakening
Peter:
-saved everyone’s lives
Peter:
Predictions: in the next few episodes, Locke will:
Peter:
-rescue Claire and singlehandedly deliver her baby
Peter:
-get Kate and Jack together
Peter:
-do Sawyer
Peter:
And there ends the episode!
Peter:
Most intriguing: Boom.
Peter:
Most likeable: Locke (as always.)
Peter:
Least likeable: Shannon’s boyfriend.
Peter:
[[Episode 14]]
Peter:
We open with Michael (black father) – hopefully this will be his flashback episode!
Peter:
Last episode didn’t have any Sawyer in it at all, unless that was him in the cop shop.
Peter:
Young Michael has an utterly adorable smile.
Peter:
Locke is training Walt to throw knives. THIS WON’T END WELL
Peter:
I have various thoughts on knives:
Peter:
-I read somewhere that throwing knives are a terrible weapon. Inaccurate and almost completely useful. But damn they look cool.
Peter:
-Why does no one on this island have a swiss army knife?
Peter:
-Joe Peacock did a great article on “how to fight“, said stay away from knives. Said get a red marker, and fight someone who is holding it – at the end of the fight, see how much red marker you have on your person. Any more than 2 marks, and you would be dead. Interesting stuff.
Peter:
…and yet there have been three or four fistfights with knives on this show, and no major injuries. Except Sawyer, I guess.
Peter:
Michael is being a real prat this episode. Would like to give most likeable character to someone other than Locke, but, well…
Peter:
Who could possibly deserve “Most likeable character” more than Locke?
Peter:
Michael is suggesting they build a raft. Sayeed’s response sums it up perfectly:
Peter:
“A raft.”
Peter:
I think that the female closest to Walt’s age is Shannon, at 20. They should totally get it on, in….8 years time.
Peter:
Things this show needs more of:
Peter:
-Polar bears
Peter:
-explosions
Peter:
-sex
Peter:
-Michael being hit by cars
Peter:
So far we’ve had 1 polar bear, 2 explosions, 2 sexes (in flashbacks) and Michael being hit by one car.
Peter:
Maybe I’ll give Walt Most likeable, just because he’s been consistently amusing. Also babies are cute.
Peter:
Sawyer needs more of a role than just “person they go to when they want to find item X”
Peter:
I can’t watch Boom and Shannon interact without thinking “OMG they had SEX”
Peter:
Locke: “He’s your father, he cares about you, and you need to show him respect.”
Peter:
Hot damn, Locke. How can I NOT give you Most likeable?
Peter:
Meanwhile, Michael isn’t even trying not to win Least likeable. He has not done a single endearing thing this episode.
Peter:
Peter’s stupid moment of the episode:
Peter:
I only JUST realised that “Amsterdam” wasn’t in the US.
Peter:
Yeah, pretty stupid.
Peter:
Walt’s mother is pretty likeable. I mean, I’d hate her if I were Michael, but her reasoning is sound.
Peter:
Characters I want to see more of:
Peter:
-Hurley
Peter:
-Sawyer
Peter:
-Locke.
Peter:
And we already see a fair amount of Locke.
Peter:
They should make this show entirely about Locke. They’d only need to change a few letters of the title.
Peter:
So Charlie’s whole monotone “I didn’t see anything, I didn’t hear anything” wasn’t self-protection, it was guilt. Interesting.
Peter:
Predictions for the contents of Claire’s diary:
Peter:
-It continues past the date that she was kidnapped
Peter:
-It’s in French
Peter:
-Mentions the psychic
Peter:
“I’m feeling fluey.” Good line, because we already knows she dies before the series starts.
Peter:
Brian (Walt’s step-dad) is looking really suss. Predictions:
Peter:
-he kills Walt’s mum.
Peter:
-Walt is psychic in some way.
Peter:
-He fiddles with Walt.
Peter:
Walt’s mum is called “Susan”. For a while I kept typoing “Crazy Danielle” as “Crazy Susan”. They are unlikely to be the same character.
Peter:
Although I’m not sure it’s a typo when almost none of the letters are the same.
Peter:
All my predictions on Brian were way off. It seems he was just a terrible father.
Peter:
no, wait! “There’s something about him. Sometimes when he’s around, things happen. He’s different somehow.”
Peter:
My money is still on “psychic”, which is nicely vague. Maybe the plane was full of everyone in the world touched by psychics in some way.
Peter:
Michael’s just been handed a box full of pieces of paper. “I think Walt should have it.” Baseball cards? People who have died ‘cos of Walt?
Peter:
POLAR BEAR!!!
Peter:
HOLY CRAP THERE’S A POLAR BEAR!! AND LOCKE, IN THE SAME PLACE! BEST EPISODE EVER!
Peter:
Fuck this flashback shit, get back to the polar bear!
Peter:
Oh man, I hope Locke wrestles it.
Peter:
AND THEN IT EXPLODES.
Peter:
Oh boy & then Sawyer could turn up and just be topless and witty. And then Kate could take her top off & then…come on! Back to the bear!!
Peter:
AND WE’RE BACK!!
Peter:
Locke and Michael are walking on a branch for some reason. Come on Locke, just stab it with your knife!
Peter:
Haha, Walt just stabbed a polar bear with a knife!
Peter:
(Walt had the knife, though it would have been cooler if the bear had)
Peter:
POLAR BEAR
Peter:
Oh god I’m glad I’m watching this on DVD, because that commercial break would have killed me.
Peter:
Okay, I hate to say it, but this is the wussiest polar bear ever. Two stabs from a tiny knife and it runs off?
Peter:
As fans of Kevin Smith would know, “Polar bears are the fiercest killers in the animal kingdom.” Two wussy stabs?
Peter:
My adrenaline is pumping. The rest of this episode is bound to be a letdown. Holy crap that was awesome though.
Peter:
Aww, the box was full of letters that Michael sent. On one hand that’s sweet, on the other: 8 years of letters in 1 tiny box? Weak, Michael.
Peter:
Meanwhile, Claire’s diary was full of lovely little comments about Charlie, and…she had a dream about a black rock. ANOTHER MYSTERY.
Peter:
I keep trying to make lists of current mysteries, but forgetting some. Mysteries I’ve not had on previous lists:
Peter:
-black rock
Peter:
-hatch in ground
Peter:
Oh awesome, they found Claire! Now THAT’s how you do a cliffhanger!
Peter:
For that ep:
Peter:
Most intriguing: Walt (psychic?)
Peter:
Most likeable: Locke.
Peter:
Least likeable: Michael, but he got better at the end.
Peter:
[[Episode 15]]
Peter:
I genuinely don’t understand why no-one has sought out Crazy Danielle yet. She surely knows more about the island than anyone.
Peter:
(‘cept Locke)
Peter:
Go and find her, ask her a few questions. Like “Is your son Ethan??” and “WHAT IS UP WITH THIS ISLAND?”
Peter:
Oh, Claire’s still pregnant! I thought for sure Ethan was going to have held onto her baby. Much more compelling.
Peter:
Also: Hurley should go around and (like in his census) find out what everyone dreams about. Could be full of clues!
Peter:
Claire has…amNESIA!! #Futurama
Peter:
Sometimes the time cues are clumsy (“Can you believe we’ve been here 3 weeks?”) & sometimes they’re great (“We crashed here. A month ago.”)
Peter:
So Claire’s been in the jungle for 2 weeks. The first 8 or so episodes were roughly 1 episode/day. The last 5 have been over about 2 weeks.
Peter:
“Ethan’s the bad guy”. Haha, I love justified meta-conversations.
Peter:
Also I love unjustified ones. “Welcome to Boston Legal.”
Peter:
What?? CHARLIE is getting a second flashback episode? Come on! I want Hurley’s!!
Peter:
That may well have been the most pointless flashback in the history of Lost. “Charlie is chatting to girls in a bar.” Please.
Peter:
My housemate tells me Jin is a lot more interesting once he learns to speak English.
Peter:
Oh cool, the return of Ethan. He’s threatening to kill people. In all fairness mate, that doesn’t seem to be your speciality.
Peter:
Have these guys forgotten that they have 3 guns and a heap of bullets??
Peter:
“If we don’t give her back and he kills one of us, their blood’s on our hands.” I respectfully disagree, Jack.
Peter:
“Where is the old man?”
Peter:
“I think he’s buying some paper company up in Slough.”
Peter:
Ha! That is genuinely brilliant.
Peter:
I am going to repeat: the flashbacks this episode seem utterly pointless. Except for that great line, of course.
Peter:
Kate brought up the (4, my mistake) guns. Jack: “I’m not putting guns in untrained hands!”
Peter:
Someone’s going to die tonight.Almost certainly a minor, minor character, but possibly someone who’s had a line or two. Annoying Hypochondriac?
Peter:
Okay, those earlier scenes are sort of justified. Honestly though, the story would be tighter without them.
Peter:
I should just quickly mention that Boom as mini-Locke rocks. Not as hard as Locke of course, but he’s still pretty damned cool.
Peter:
Aaand as soon as I type that, he falls asleep on duty. Come on!
Peter:
It appears I have the power to control character actions. I say a character is cool, they do something stupid.
Peter:
Ethan came from…the ocean?
Peter:
Scott died. Minor character, don’t think he’s had more than one line. “Hey Steve!” “I’m Scott – that’s Steve.” In an early ep.
Peter:
Prediction: another character will die this next night, someone with slightly larger role. Rose?
Peter:
Also, I reckon Ethan is getting in using the submarine. The submarine that I made up accidentally.
Peter:
Worst flashbacks ever. We already know that Charlie’s going to end up on drugs. There’s nowhere for the story to go.
Peter:
Ha! Jack (to Locke): “I’m guessing you know how to handle one of these” (guns). He shouldn’t, but he does. Locke is awesome.
Peter:
Locke: “You ever fire a weapon, Charlie?”
Peter:
Yeah right Locke, like you have.
Peter:
Come on flashbacks, at least TRY to suck less.
Peter:
Sawyer should learn to carve bullets out of bone. That would a) give him a role, and b) mean more guns.
Peter:
In real life I’m anti-gun, but in fiction? Bring them on!
Peter:
My prediction: Ethan will disable someone and end up with his own gun, completely removing the advantage.
Peter:
It’s raining! Let’s see if the monster appears in the next episode or two.
Peter:
Although thinking about it, when the monster appeared for Boom it was only a hallucination.
Peter:
Come on guys, where are you?? Jack is getting his arse handed to him! …again!
Peter:
Ethan is beating the hell out of Jack, the others show up with guns. Sure would be handy to have some handcuffs now.
Peter:
Locke: “We want him alive”. LISTEN TO LOCKE, CHARLIE.
Peter:
Charlie, that was ridiculously dumb. There are SO MANY THINGS you could have found out by not killing him.
Peter:
Shooting out his kneecaps would have been my move. Easier to stop someone from escaping if they have no kneecaps.
Peter:
Charlie: “He deserved to die.”
Peter:
Slippery slope, letting him get away with this, deciding who lives and who dies.
Peter:
Now that we’ve reached the end of Charlie’s flashback tale, I can honestly say it’s utterly pointless. We have learned nothing from this.
Peter:
Charlie gets Least Likeable character easily this ep.
Peter:
Most Likeable: Locke (as always),
Peter:
Most Intriguing: Ethan.
Peter:
Though thanks to Charlie, probably won’t get to learn much about his past. Stupid Charlie.
Peter:
Might have to invent a new category, “Least Likeable other than Locke.
Peter:
Claire: “I remember peanut butter.” – ooh, nice callback.
Peter:
Jury’s still out on whether Claire’s amnesia is island-caused or genuine stress caused. Aaand end of episode.
Peter:
[[Running tally:]]
Peter:
Most intriguing: Kate on 4. (Ethan on 3, 8 characters on 1 – Mr Locke, Sayeed, Asian Wife, Jack, Charlie, Crazy Danielle, Boom, Walt.)
Peter:
Most likeable: Locke on 7 (Hurley on 3, 5 characters on 1 – Charlie, Ray, Jack, Sawyer, Shannon)
Peter:
Least likeable: Cruel Asian Man (Jin) on 4 (Jack’s Dad on 2, 6 on 1 – Locke’s Boss, Charlie’s Brother, Shannon, Crazy Danielle, Claire’s Boyfriend, Kate, Charlie, Michael, Shannon’s

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