X-Men (2000)

:
At the start of the Christmas holidays, Xander and Elizabeth decided to marathon the X-Men films for the first time. For the next fourteen hours they experienced mutants, drama, and Hugh Jackman topless. So much topless Hugh Jackman.
:
x-men 1
Xander:
Zefrank is narrating like a true facts video
Elizabeth:
No! It’s Picard!
Xander:
All I know of this film: The super bro-team of Picard and Gandalf are enemies
Xander:
oh also Gandalf was in a concentration camp
Xander:
Which would explain this Poland 1944 scene
Elizabeth:
Poor Gandalf
Elizabeth:
Dang WWII scenes are depressing
Xander:
Yeah basically
Xander:
WWII was stupid
Xander:
who thought that would be a good idea?
Xander:
Gandalf has magnet hands
Xander:
I wonder if that’ll be important
Elizabeth:
Not sure – is the one ring magnetic?
Xander:
So, I’m fairly sure that Gandalf is the villain of the film
Xander:
But so far he’s pretty sympathetic
Elizabeth:
He keeps trying to save Middle-earth
Elizabeth:
He’s not a very good villain.
Xander:
Anchorage!
Xander:
Alaska!
Xander:
I get so excited when people mention Alaska
Xander:
they don’t get as much attention as they deserve
Xander:
These random teens: Not as interesting as WWII guy!
Elizabeth:
In all fairness that is quite an ask of a random team
Elizabeth:
World War II was pretty interesting
Xander:
This is the creepiest kiss I’ve ever seen
Xander:
JUST GOT CREEPIER
Xander:
HE’S ALL VEINY
Xander:
SHE’S SCREAMING
Xander:
WHAT
Xander:
Oh!
Xander:
She kills anyone she touches
Xander:
I think I’ve heard of this
Elizabeth:
Is it glandular fever?
Elizabeth:
Aka the kissing disease?
Xander:
White house!
Xander:
I’m suspicious of this evolution talk
Xander:
It is rare that big films discussing evolution ends well
Xander:
“Are mutants dangerous” what the fuck kind of country is this
Elizabeth:
MERICA
Elizabeth:
Licence to Live
Elizabeth:
Like the anti-Bond
Xander:
“What are they hiding that they can’t show themselves” You are CURRENTLY THREATENING THEM
Xander:
They are hiding FROM YOU
Xander:
YOU, WHO IS CURRENTLY THREATENING THEM
Xander:
This scene is stupid
Xander:
what the fuck, America
Elizabeth:
It’s stupid but not that unrealistic
Elizabeth:
I mean, even corporations have to be registered
Elizabeth:
and they have more rights than some citizens
Xander:
Jesus christ America
Elizabeth:
Picard! Time to save the day!
Elizabeth:
Also Gandalf!
Xander:
Random Extra!
Xander:
The team is all here!
Elizabeth:
You can save twice as many days together!
Xander:
“Eric”
Elizabeth:
Eric Gandalf
Elizabeth:
Few people know this
Xander:
“Mankind has evolved into us”
Xander:
If Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellan are the future of evolution, I’m in
Elizabeth:
N’aww, “I will bring you hope old friend”
Xander:
How is he the villain?
Xander:
He’s so nice!
Elizabeth:
TOO nice
Xander:
I hope that the kill-touch-girl is named Poison Ivy
Xander:
that would be appropriate
Xander:
DC might have something to say about it though
Elizabeth:
I think she’s Rogue
Xander:
Rogue Ivy
Elizabeth:
‘You can’t confine me to walls!’
Xander:
Probably-illegal wraslin
Xander:
Please let that be Hugh Jackman
Xander:
I need this
Elizabeth:
Who else is going to be topless in this film?
Xander:
Man, he’s getting a beatdown
Xander:
OH GOD
Xander:
AH
Xander:
THAT LOOKED SO PAINFUL
Xander:
Jean Valjean, I love you so much
Xander:
I mean, there’s nothing in this life we share
Elizabeth:
You can see how he got sentenced to hard labour
Xander:
For stealing some bread?
Elizabeth:
For beating a man senseless
Xander:
What even is that facial hair
Xander:
guys
Xander:
guys what is this
Elizabeth:
His hairstyle is also fabulous
Xander:
“The largest single gathering of history. Over 200 world leaders” The G200?
Xander:
Haha, he’s figured out he’s a mutant
Xander:
WELP
Elizabeth:
Cage fighting: more dangerous than you might think
Xander:
Hugh Jackman is a winner
Xander:
HE JUST CUT A GUN IN HALF
Xander:
OH MAN
Xander:
Gun control? Just send in the wolverine.
Elizabeth:
Hahaha
Elizabeth:
He should totally be the anti-gun mascot
Xander:
Is he a redneck?
Xander:
The facial hair, cigar, winnebago
Xander:
I think he might be a redneck
Elizabeth:
Hugh Jackman I trusted you
Elizabeth:
I trusted you to not be a redneck
Xander:
haha, Rogue hitched a ride
Xander:
and he’s totally suss
Xander:
“You don’t know or you don’t care”
Xander:
“Pick one”
Elizabeth:
‘naw, he actually gave her some food
Elizabeth:
HJ, you’re back in my good books
Xander:
Rogue!
Xander:
you were correct
Xander:
Man, she sucks at conversation
Elizabeth:
And kissing
Xander:
She’s kind of the likable awkward
Xander:
Which is nice
Xander:
“When they come out, does it hurt?”
Xander:
“Every time”
Xander:
Fuck you’re metal, Hugh Jackman
Xander:
possibly literally?
Xander:
HAHAHA
Xander:
She said to wear a seatbelt and then they crashed into a tree
Xander:
and now the car is on fire
Xander:
that went south, fast
Elizabeth:
And that kids is why you always wear a seatbelt
Elizabeth:
Is she hurt?
Elizabeth:
HJ, save her!
Elizabeth:
And magical heal yourself?
Xander:
I think so?
Xander:
Oh right, his thing is healing factor
Xander:
I knew that
Elizabeth:
So now HJ needs to save her without touching her and dying
Xander:
DID THEY JUST GET ATTACKED BY A BEAR
Elizabeth:
THE BAD GUYS JUST ARRIVED
Xander:
Or a… bearman?
Elizabeth:
Bear man with fabulous hair?
Xander:
Werewolves?
Xander:
Geordie LaForge?
Elizabeth:
This music makes me think of Beauty and the Beast
Elizabeth:
Well that just exploded a lot
Xander:
These explosions make me think of Beauty and the Beast
Xander:
The action remake
Xander:
This bear guy has the voice of a wolf
Xander:
best
Xander:
BOSS IAN MCKELLAN
Elizabeth:
I thought Sir Ian was dressed in a Star Trek uniform for a second
Elizabeth:
Gandalf seems to be pro-UN
Xander:
So, the wolf wasn’t with Geordie LaForge?
Xander:
Man, they didn’t even try to restrain him did they?
Elizabeth:
You can’t restrain Jean Valjean
Xander:
Well you can
Xander:
For 20 years
Elizabeth:
And then he becomes the mayor
Xander:
Oh my goodness he is a titan of a man
Xander:
Hugh Jackman, I’d let you Jean MY Valjean any day
Xander:
Why is no-one chasing him?
Xander:
Did she not alert the authorities?
Xander:
She alerted the elevator
Xander:
Hugh Jackman is an idiot
Xander:
“This door opened? I’m in!
Xander:
OH WAIT IT’S CLOSING I DIDN’T WANT THIS”
Elizabeth:
If you could hear Picard in your mind wouldn’t you follow his voice?
Xander:
I don’t need him in my mind
Xander:
I have him in my heart
Elizabeth:
Haha, hiding behind a pole
Elizabeth:
Nice work, Hugh Jackman
Elizabeth:
Hahaha, he burst dramatically into a classroom
Xander:
“Good morning Logan”
Xander:
Picard is the best
Xander:
Oh, school for mutants
Xander:
neat
Elizabeth:
I love how Picard is just like, have all of the answers you want
Elizabeth:
no fussing around with being vague
Xander:
It’s pretty great
Xander:
NO HAND SHAKE FOR YOU, CYCLOPS
Xander:
Picard knows how to roll
Elizabeth:
Haha, he’s in a wheelchair, nice one Xander
Xander:
“What do they call you? Wheels?” Oh man I love him so much
Xander:
‘Shut it, wheels’
Xander:
Teleportation in basketball is just blatant cheating, surely
Elizabeth:
One of the kids was like, “hey! no powers!”
Elizabeth:
N’aww, this is such a sweet and wholesome looking school
Xander:
Just wait until the sex gymnasium shows up
Xander:
Muuuch less wholesome
Xander:
Who freezes fire?
Xander:
How?
Xander:
Is that possible?
Xander:
Science nerds! Assemble!
Elizabeth:
Cyclops wears sunnies and is teaching the kids about motorcycles
Elizabeth:
So cool
Xander:
He’s like a super greaser
Elizabeth:
They have stables!
Xander:
They are, however, unstable
Xander:
“We love you senator petrelli” What the fuck
Xander:
Did this just become Heroes?
Xander:
Actually that makes a lot of sense
Elizabeth:
I have never seen Heroes
Elizabeth:
But if it contains a topless Hugh Jackman, I will get on that immediately
Xander:
Why are you declaring a war? They’ve done literally nothing
Xander:
Blue woman!
Xander:
Whaaaa
Xander:
You’re not the senator’s friend
Elizabeth:
Is this the same blue woman as in Avatar?
Elizabeth:
Because that would be a pretty sweet crossover
Xander:
Haha, copilot is all like “Blue lady? NOICE”
Xander:
“Couldn’t wait to get my shirt off again” Wolverine you scamp
Elizabeth:
HJ, you are not allowed to wear shirts for extended periods of time
Elizabeth:
you know this
Xander:
They surgically attached metal to his bones
Xander:
wow
Elizabeth:
That’s really clever
Elizabeth:
He’s not full of metal as part of his mutation, but his mutation allowed him to be experimented on
Xander:
They also tried to surgically attach a shirt to his torso
Xander:
Should have known that was never going to stick
Elizabeth:
He’s older than the professor! madness
Xander:
“What do they want with him?”
Xander:
He’s literally invincible. Isn’t that enough for you people?
Elizabeth:
He’s Hugh Jackman, isn’t that enough for anyone?
Xander:
Characters who can’t die are so interesting
Xander:
well
Xander:
except that they’ve just killed Wolverine in the comics
Elizabeth:
Oh no!
Elizabeth:
You can’t kill Wolverine!
Xander:
Well you can
Xander:
But after 20 years he comes back
Xander:
As Mayor of the underworld
Xander:
The Brotherhood of Mutants
Elizabeth:
Can Ian McKellen please sing about them?
Elizabeth:
Being able to control metal is the best power
Xander:
Being Hugh Jackman is better
Elizabeth:
True
Xander:
Bad kissing is the worst power
Xander:
Not that I would know
Xander:
*cough*
Elizabeth:
Look at all of the science
Elizabeth:
So pretty
Xander:
“Where’s’ your room?” He’s persistent at the hittin’ on
Elizabeth:
HJ just leave her alone
Elizabeth:
She’s not interested
Xander:
Oh, he actually had a purpose for that
Xander:
It wasn’t just random unwanted flirting
Xander:
Why is the doctor babysitting him?
Xander:
Why does Scott look so cool?
Elizabeth:
Scott is the Prince from Enchanted!
Xander:
That’d be it
Xander:
Scott is pretty cool
Elizabeth:
Scott IS cool!
Xander:
I like this rivalry
Xander:
Their entire exchange was great
Xander:
Oh!
Xander:
It’s Marie/Rogue
Xander:
I forgot about her
Xander:
is she like, the main character?
Elizabeth:
I don’t think so
Elizabeth:
I think it’s more the adults
Xander:
Don’t touch him, Rogue
Xander:
he will die
Xander:
probably
Elizabeth:
Rogue no!
Elizabeth:
Remember how your power is killing people you touch?
Elizabeth:
SHOOT
Xander:
did
Xander:
did he just kill her?
Elizabeth:
HE JUST STABBED HER
Elizabeth:
LIKE A LOT
Elizabeth:
DON’T RETRACT THE CLAWS
Elizabeth:
YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT THEM IN
Elizabeth:
BASIC FIRST AID MAN
Xander:
‘REVENGE’
Elizabeth:
LEAVE THE CLAWS IN
Xander:
Oh. She… stole his power?
Elizabeth:
Ohh, wait, I think her power is she can also absorb other people’s powers temporarily
Xander:
At the cost of their life?
Elizabeth:
I think so
Xander:
except that Hugh Jacky is invincible
Elizabeth:
Why does her nightie have a random patch of skin visible on her back? c’mon people
Elizabeth:
You die if you touch her
Elizabeth:
This is not hard
Xander:
The villains are holding a villain captive
Xander:
I’m pretty okay with this
Xander:
WHAT
Xander:
WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO HIS FACE
Xander:
IS HE A RUBBER MAN?
Xander:
Oh! They mutated him
Xander:
Right
Elizabeth:
Guys, you turned him into a mutant and then you are surprised he gained powers and escaped
Xander:
and now he’s a dead rubber man
Xander:
hmm
Xander:
Guess he’s not going to find the One Piece
Elizabeth:
I enjoy Scott’s dislike of Wolverine
Elizabeth:
And I love that Picard doesn’t hold information back
Xander:
I hope they keep that up for all 7 films
Xander:
The honesty is pretty refreshing
Xander:
He seems to only respond to questions, but that’s fine
Xander:
“Where’s my motorcycle” LOGAN STOLE A MOTORCYCLE
Xander:
MOTORCYCLE HEIST: COMPLETED
Xander:
BEST FILM
Elizabeth:
Hahaha
Elizabeth:
Logan
Elizabeth:
Such a scamp
Xander:
So, Bobby is definitely evil
Xander:
Wolverine is totally a bro
Elizabeth:
Wolverine is such a bro
Elizabeth:
TWO BOBBYS
Elizabeth:
BOBBY HAS AN EVIL TWIN
Xander:
DOUBLE THE BOBBY
Xander:
DOUBLE THE FUN
Xander:
It was Mystique!
Xander:
I forgot about her
Xander:
“The first boy I ever kissed ended up in a coma for three weeks” Oh, I thought he died
Xander:
this is kind of a letdown
Xander:
“TEEN SURVIVED. XANDER OUTRAGED”
Elizabeth:
yeah, I’m pretty sure he died and they didn’t tell her
Elizabeth:
If mutants have a special genetic signature, maybe that should be what they use to enter the top secret facilities instead of retinal scans
Xander:
“He seems to generally want to help you” Haha
Xander:
“generally”
Xander:
Logan is surprisingly lovely
Xander:
‘naw, prince from Enchanted has a nice smile
Xander:
forgot that
Elizabeth:
It’s a requirement for being a prince
Xander:
WOLFBEAR
Xander:
AH WHAT
Xander:
HE JUST EXPLODED THE ROOF
Elizabeth:
Wolfbear the peeps ain’t gonna scream if you cut off their air supply
Xander:
aaaand Storm is dead?
Elizabeth:
Yeah
Elizabeth:
Those glasses are not just for looking cool
Xander:
That’s just a bonus?
Xander:
Iiiit’s Magneto
Elizabeth:
So.
Elizabeth:
Magneto can fly
Xander:
oh right
Xander:
Wolverine’s body is full of metal
Xander:
hmmm
Xander:
AH SO PAINFUL
Xander:
HE HAS FULL CONTROL OF WOLVERINE’S BONES
Xander:
WHY SIR IAN MCKELLAN
Xander:
WHY
Elizabeth:
Magneto is after Rogue!
Xander:
Why wouldn’t you want Hugh Jackman?
Xander:
He’s so great
Elizabeth:
She should touch him and then he would die and she would get sweet sweet powers
Xander:
But also memories of the holocaust
Xander:
Is that going to come up again?
Elizabeth:
I feel like there’s not many people watching X-Men for the holocaust scenes
Xander:
haha, no guns for you
Xander:
What is wolfbear doing?
Xander:
Betrayal?
Elizabeth:
Wolfbear and Frogman are not pleased with Magneto
Elizabeth:
He’s too theatrical for their tastes
Xander:
Oh! They’re being mind controlled
Xander:
right
Elizabeth:
Magneto wants to be besties with Xavier
Xander:
Magneto is such an interesting villain
Xander:
I like him so much
Elizabeth:
His lackeys are, well, lacking
Elizabeth:
But he is so cool
Xander:
Man, I would totally watch 7 films of Magneto v. Xavier
Xander:
Today, in fact
Xander:
“Be an X-Man” first time the name has been dropped
Xander:
or at least, almost dropped
Xander:
“At least I’ve chosen a side”
Xander:
NO TIME FOR THINKING, CHOOSE NOW
Elizabeth:
Hey senator villain
Elizabeth:
Picard is all over this
Xander:
His cells are breaking down
Xander:
holy shit
Xander:
Characters I like so far: Rogue, Wolverine, Xavier, Scott, Magneto
Xander:
All the other characters haven’t really left an impression
Elizabeth:
He is leaking water
Xander:
We call that “sweating”
Elizabeth:
Gross
Elizabeth:
Is that a mutant thing?
Xander:
Oh man
Xander:
this is gross
Elizabeth:
GROSSS
Xander:
He’s turning into the ocean
Xander:
Senator Kelly, not Petrelli
Xander:
that’s disappointing
Xander:
Oh right they possibly killed Picard
Elizabeth:
Oh yeah
Xander:
oh well
Elizabeth:
I like Picard
Elizabeth:
I like him best when he’s alive
Xander:
Scott’s smile: Still great
Elizabeth:
Scott is going to smile at Picard until he’s better
Xander:
Yup, it paralyzed Picard
Elizabeth:
Jean, don’t use the machine that tried to kill Xavier!
Xander:
Jean?
Xander:
Jean Valjean?
Xander:
That is Wolverine
Xander:
you got confused
Elizabeth:
Then who adopts Cosette?
Xander:
Wolfbear does!
Elizabeth:
Well he had better step up his fathering game
Elizabeth:
So far not an ideal role-model
Xander:
ouch
Xander:
that crunch
Elizabeth:
MAGnificent
Xander:
“Are you going to kill me?”
Xander:
“Yes”
Xander:
X-Men is all honesty, all the time
Elizabeth:
Honesty and topless Hugh Jackman
Xander:
My two favourite things
Xander:
I’d be annoyed at his evilness if Magneto wasn’t just so damn likable
Xander:
Oh right, Magneto doesn’t know it kills
Elizabeth:
This 3D map thing is so fun
Xander:
It’s so cool
Xander:
“What would you prefer? Yellow spandex?” HA!
Elizabeth:
Do they wear yellow spandex in the comics?
Elizabeth:
Is that the joke?
Xander:
Wolverine does!
Elizabeth:
Hehe, nice
Elizabeth:
…did Wolverine just check he still has claws?
Xander:
Getting them through the gloves
Xander:
Oh geez, because he heals the claws have to pierce the flesh every time
Xander:
I only just got that
Elizabeth:
Yeah
Elizabeth:
It’s a pretty ouchie power
Elizabeth:
They can cut through guns
Elizabeth:
How tough does he think the gloves are?
Xander:
“You call that a landing? THIS is a landing”
Xander:
Poor Rogue
Xander:
she looks so scared
Xander:
scared and sad
Elizabeth:
I love Wolverine and Scott sniping
Xander:
Wolverine is hacker extraordinaire
Elizabeth:
Yeah
Xander:
HA! Rude finger claw
Xander:
Scott v. Wolverine is my favourite
Elizabeth:
Things kinda suck for Rogue at the moment
Elizabeth:
Oh man, Mystique AGAIN
Elizabeth:
Haha, Wolverine v. Wolverine
Xander:
They’ve focused on Wolfbear wayyy more than Mystique
Xander:
it baffles me
Xander:
Mystique is a million times more interesting
Xander:
Wolverine v. Wolverine
Xander:
Scott will have to identify which is real through his powers of pure hatred
Elizabeth:
The claws can cut through the claws!
Xander:
oh, that was less of a problem than I imagined
Xander:
the real claws win
Elizabeth:
Frogman is icky
Xander:
yeah basically
Xander:
Was that a bowling sound effect?
Xander:
Life is defenseless against Scotts lazer eye
Elizabeth:
Why did Mystique lick her lips?
Xander:
She kicked the groin!
Xander:
Now he’s going to take it personal!
Xander:
SCOTT JUST LASERED JEAN’S FACE
Elizabeth:
His glasses have laser settings, that’s clever
Xander:
Whoa, frogman is British
Xander:
‘es all cockney
Xander:
guvna
Elizabeth:
He sounded Aussie to me
Elizabeth:
Owwwww
Elizabeth:
He is hanging on by his tongue
Xander:
“Do you know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning?
Xander:
Same thing that happens to everything else” OKay I’d heard about that line
Xander:
nooot a great line
Xander:
It’s the kind of thing you say when you’re aiming for a one-liner and miss
Elizabeth:
‘Do you know what the worst thing about being out in a storm is?’
Elizabeth:
‘It gets…it’s cold. It’s cold and you get cold.’
Elizabeth:
OH MAN
Xander:
haha, he figured HER out
Elizabeth:
TWIST!!!!!
Elizabeth:
I THOUGHT HE WAS MYSTIQUE
Elizabeth:
That was clever!!!
Elizabeth:
“Prove it?” “You’re a dick”
Elizabeth:
Yep, that’s Logan
Xander:
Scott and Woverine are absolutely my favourites
Xander:
I hope they get a spinoff
Xander:
“Scott and Wolverine go to college”
Elizabeth:
Magneto wants to be friends with them
Xander:
Man, Magneto is scary
Xander:
haha, taking off his glasses
Xander:
Scott and Wolverine are the weakest against Magneto
Xander:
Storm’s acting might be the weakest part of the film
Elizabeth:
“Are you sure you saw what you saw?” yeah, pretty sure
Elizabeth:
‘I mean, I saw it’
Xander:
Scott and Wolverine would kick Second Wolverine’s arse
Xander:
Is Wolfbear that Australian guy with the weird face?
Xander:
He totally stabbed himself
Xander:
wow
Xander:
Hardcore gnarly
Elizabeth:
“Sabertooth” is apparently Canadian
Xander:
So is Wolverine!
Elizabeth:
Deep down, aren’t we all Canadian?
Xander:
No?
Xander:
In the comics Wolverine’s also comically short
Xander:
which so many people hate that H-Jacks is tall
Elizabeth:
HJ’s only flaw: being too tall
Xander:
H-Jacks, you almost stabbed your best friend Scott in the face
Elizabeth:
Also he can be a bit reckless with his deadly, deadly claws
Xander:
“You owe me a scream” fuck that’s a scary threat
Elizabeth:
Someone save Rogue!
Elizabeth:
N’aww, Wolverine gave Scott his glasses back
Elizabeth:
Besties!
Elizabeth:
When in doubt, send in Wolverine!
Elizabeth:
Using a storm if needed
Xander:
‘Also don’t be in doubt to begin with. Just send in Wolverine always’
Xander:
‘He has bones of invincible metal and can heal from any wound’
Xander:
‘Why the fuck would you not’
Xander:
Fly, you fools!
Elizabeth:
Side effect of the mutant machine: turns you blonde
Elizabeth:
Scott’s got this guys
Elizabeth:
He would never do anything to hurt his bestie Wolverine
Xander:
Scott Capable: Ruler of the world
Xander:
Oh man, Wolverine can touch Rogue
Xander:
which means she’s dead
Xander:
that sucks
Elizabeth:
Whoa
Elizabeth:
That’s an amazing way to show it, though
Elizabeth:
And hey!
Elizabeth:
Not so dead
Xander:
Rogue: Totes alive now!
Elizabeth:
You can tell because she’s back to sucking the life out of everyone she touches
Xander:
Ignoring that there are two films in the series named after him, it genuinely looked like Wolverine was going to die just then
Xander:
That was really well done
Elizabeth:
Magneto!
Xander:
Oh man, Mystique is alive
Elizabeth:
Totes alive?
Elizabeth:
Picard?
Xander:
Picard!
Xander:
You can blink!
Elizabeth:
Totes alive also?
Elizabeth:
Hooray!
Elizabeth:
Wolverine?
Elizabeth:
Please be totes alive also too!
Xander:
DOCTOR Wolverine to you
Xander:
DOCTOR Wolverine PHD
Elizabeth:
He’s shirtless, that’s a good sign
Elizabeth:
DR TOTES ALIVE
Elizabeth:
Possibly even KING Alive!
Elizabeth:
N’aww
Elizabeth:
I like the Wolverine/Rogue friendship
Elizabeth:
It’s sweet
Xander:
I really don’t want them to end up together
Xander:
Wolverine and ANY of these characters
Elizabeth:
Whoa, no
Elizabeth:
She is a kid
Xander:
Scott and Jean are great
Elizabeth:
And Wolverine and Jean make no sense
Elizabeth:
(except to get one over Scott)
Xander:
I think they’re setting up Wolverine and Jean
Xander:
In a weird way
Elizabeth:
I don’t like that
Elizabeth:
Again, random patches of skin visible on Rogue
Elizabeth:
They could literally kill people
Elizabeth:
Mystique probs shouldn’t show her eyes on camera
Elizabeth:
How did other people not notice this?
Xander:
Yeah, that was a weird move
Xander:
Mystique why would you do that?
Elizabeth:
If Wolverine must have a romance plot, I hope it’s someone from his past
Xander:
Oh!
Xander:
Yes!
Xander:
That would be good
Elizabeth:
N’aww, he’s given her his dog tags
Elizabeth:
Oh! Wolverine! You should take Scott with you!
Elizabeth:
Hahaha
Elizabeth:
Or Scott’s bike
Xander:
HE STOLE THE BIKE
Xander:
OH MY GOODNESS
Xander:
THAT’S SO MUCH FUN
Xander:
I’m really sold on the Wolverine/Rogue relationship
Elizabeth:
It’s sweet
Xander:
Gandalf and Picard playing chess?
Elizabeth:
OH man!
Elizabeth:
I think they are!
Elizabeth:
This is the best!!!
Elizabeth:
Picard and Magneto are the best besties
Elizabeth:
And Picard is keeping Magneto prisoner…
Xander:
I think the government is
Xander:
because of his terrorism
Xander:
Plastic prison is a good move
Elizabeth:
Very clever
Elizabeth:
This prison is magic
Elizabeth:
“Old friend” Picard is just the best
Elizabeth:
Xander: MOVIE: OVER
Xander:
Okay, accolades
Xander:
MOST LIKEABLE?
Elizabeth:
Oh man
Xander:
Mine is Wolverine
Elizabeth:
Picard or Wolverine
Xander:
CHOOOOSE
Elizabeth:
But I feel it would unfair to give it to Picard. He’s just so default cool.
Elizabeth:
So Wolverine may have it
Xander:
LEAST LIKEABLE?
Elizabeth:
Hmmm
Elizabeth:
Senator who exploded into the ocean?
Xander:
Storm has this one for me. Was not a fan. The acting didn’t help.
Elizabeth:
I also did not like any of the lackeys
Elizabeth:
Yeah, Halle Berry was very flat
Elizabeth:
It was weird
Xander:
Halle Berry? Wait, was Storm Halle Berry?
Elizabeth:
Yeah
Xander:
Oh man, I really like Halle Berry
Elizabeth:
Yeah it’s weird
Elizabeth:
‘Cause she’s good!
Elizabeth:
But not in this!
Elizabeth:
So weird!
Xander:
SWEETEST CHARACTER?
Xander:
Rogue.
Xander:
It’s Rogue.
Elizabeth:
N’awww
Elizabeth:
Wolverine was pretty sweet at times too, don’t forget
Elizabeth:
But yeah, Rogue
Xander:
BEST RELATIONSHIP?
Elizabeth:
Ooh
Xander:
I want either Wolverine & Rogue or Wolverine and Scott
Xander:
Can I just elect “Wolverine”?
Elizabeth:
Picard and Magneto was a fascinating friendship
Xander:
Wolverine/Scott has my vote
Xander:
You think the P&M party?
Elizabeth:
I want to know more about Picard and Magneto
Elizabeth:
It feels like there’s a lot of interesting stuff happening there
Elizabeth:
And that way I don’t have to pick between Wolverine & Rogue or Wolverine & Scott
Xander:
BRO OF THE FILM?
Elizabeth:
Wolverine.
Xander:
Wolverine.
Xander:
There gonna be an after-credits scene?
Xander:
No after-credits scene
Elizabeth:
Sadtimes
Xander:
Final Verdict: I think it was good at the core, but some of it was extraneous (Too many main characters, only two interesting villains, the school is just sort of… there)
Elizabeth:
Yeah, I think they needed to tighten the whole thing up, but I enjoyed it
Elizabeth:
I hope they do something with the school, though, it’s an interesting concept.
Xander:
It’s a strong starting point, and the central cast was on point
Elizabeth:
Hoorah! Next film?
Xander:
X-MEN 2: ATTACK OF THE DUCKS
Xander:
[[Accolades]]
Xander:
Unanimous Bro of The Film: Wolverine
Xander:
[[Xander’s Tally]]
Xander:
Most Likeable: Wolverine
Xander:
Least Likeable: Storm
Xander:
Sweetest Character: Rogue
Xander:
Best Relationship: Wolverine and Scott
Xander:
[[Elizabeth’s Tally]]
Xander:
Most Likeable: Wolverine
Xander:
Least Likeable: Senator Kelly
Xander:
Sweetest Character: Rogue
Xander:
Best Relationship: Picard and Magneto

Leave a Reply

*