Halfway through watching the film, my cousin Gavin leaned over and asked:
“Why is this so awful?”
He likely just wanted to express how terrible the film is (very) but it’s a genuinely interesting question. Mortedecai has a lot of individual elements that could – indeed, should – work, but the film is a travesty. Almost none of the jokes land, the plot is simultaneously tedious and scattered, and the relationships make absolutely no sense.
Oh, and there’s a total of two speaking female characters (if you ignore the string of women who literally only exist for one of the characters to have loud sex with). They never have a conversation, and so this film resoundly fails the Bechdel Test.
Georgiana Krampf (Olivia Munn) is given “nymphomaniac” as their entire personality, while the other, Johanna Mortdecai (Gwyneth Paltrow), is impossibly clever, attractive, and – of course – madly in love with our man-child main character.
Neither of them has a scrap of personality, and no matter how hard Gwyneth Paltrow desperately tries, she can’t do anything interesting (or even amusing) with the total lack of character she’s been given.
As nice as it would be to claim that poor female characters were responsible for the film being such a heaping pile of dreck, we have countless classics to prove that’s not enough in itself.
And so we return to Gavin’s question: Why is Mortdecai so awful?
Yes, Johnny Depp overacts in every frame. But if there’s anyone whose proven they can get away with overacting, it’s Depp. What’s more, he’s just clearly having so much fun in the role, it’s hard not to enjoy it with him.
So if not Depp, then who? The rest of the cast is top-notch. The film is adapted from a well-received series of books from the 70s (dated, possibly, but still quite popular) and the director has been adapting novels for more than twenty years now.
Ultimately, it makes the most sense to lay the blame at the feet of the writer – Eric Aronson has exactly one other credit to his name, and it’s from 2001. The script is a mess; it doesn’t seem to understand the core dynamics of the characters or even know who we’re supposed to be rooting for. It jumps straight from slow, dry, attempting-to-be-witty scenes to juvenile humor, and doesn’t even bother trying to present a theme.
Jock (Paul Bettany) is consistently funny throughout the film. Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) has his moments. Everything else is a waste of time; if you’re thinking of going to see this, don’t bother.
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Li Chaowen은 거의 반박할 기회가 없었지만 Wang Zuo에게 눌려 땅에 부딪쳤다.
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이것은 법정에서 허점을 잡고 속임수를 쓰려는 것과 같습니다.
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그리고 이 모든 것은 예측할 수 없는 카운티 치안판사라고 하는 이 웃지 않는 사람에게서 나왔습니다.
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때때로 Hongzhi 황제는 피곤해서 눈을 가늘게 뜨고 잠시 쉬었습니다.
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하나님은 그가 자신을 때리고 싶은 충동을 얼마나 억누르려고 했는지 아십니다.
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Chen Yan은 즉시 “아니요, Huangjinzhou에 가지 않을 것입니다. “라고 통곡했습니다.
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Liu Jian과 다른 사람들은 압도 당하고 어안이 벙벙했습니다.
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Fang Jifan은 Zhu Houzhao의 뒷자락을 심하게 당겼습니다.
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또한 북한에서 많은 학자와 귀족들이 돌아왔다.
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그가 이 말을 하자 우양지의 눈가가 촉촉해졌다.
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Hongzhi 황제의 눈이 곧게 펴졌습니다. “어떻게 이런 일이 가능합니까?”
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손에 든 흰 종이의 네모를 보면 네모 안에 숫자가 있다.
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그는 “싸워, 총력전!”
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Zhu Houzhao는 Fang Jifan을 신나게 바라보았고 Fang Jifan이 항상 방법을 찾을 것이라는 것을 알았습니다.
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이제 Zhu Houzhao는 아들을 손에 들고 그의 얼굴에는 자부심이 가득합니다.
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그래서 게이트 가드가 서둘러보고했습니다.
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눈에 희망을 품은 Zhou Tanzhi는 마음속의 흥분을 억누르고 경례하며 예라고 말하려고 했습니다.
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이때 밖에서 내시가 급히 왔다.
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물론 서쪽으로 두 번 항해한 후에 씨앗을 찾을 수 있다고 생각하는 사람은 아무도 없습니다.
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Wang Jinyuan은 행복하게 마차를 따라 갔고 젊은 아가씨를 공물 안뜰 밖으로 보냈습니다.
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Fang Jifan과 Zhu Houzhao는 모두 용서받은 것처럼 도망치고 싶었습니다.
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Xiao Jingteng은 지금 그러한 상황에 직면해 있습니다.
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이 주제가 머리가 아프네요…Fang Jifan은 열심히 머리를 잡고…
You’ve articulated your points with such finesse. Truly a pleasure to enjoy reading.
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Fang Jifan은 이빨을 비비며 “그의 전하는 아직 젊습니다.”