HEY ELIZABETH
HEY Peter
What is EVERYTHING you know about this film?
Um, I think Her is a film about an AI with a female voice and a guy who falls in love with “her”
It’s NOT a film about someone finally tapping the untapped 90% of our brains
But man, wouldn’t that be a good film
NO IT WOULD NOT
I have seen this movie before, so I shall be playing the role of “No Elizabeth, that’s wrong” guy.
Ooh, the guy on the menu screen has a moustache
Always a good sign
No Elizabeth, that’s wrong.
I hope the AI has a moustache as well
I should get a moustache
I have a mustache.
I think the hairier you are, the better really.
Okay, so moustache-man writing a letter
He was in love with someone naked – so I gather not the AI…
A man, so it’s a little odd that it’s called “her”
They met fifty years ago?!?!
Was he like negative ten when they got married?
He’s just aged spectacularly well
It’s the moustache
He writes other people’s love letters for them.
Huh
That would be an interesting job
I feel the disconnect would let you write some really good stuff
Technology time!
FUTURE technology time!
I like this technology, it’s like everything is turned into voice-to-text
Everyone is just talking to themselves, but the train is crowded so it looks like the people in the background are having a nice chat
Character-building time! He is a lonely, video game-playing bachelor.
What a weird way to play video games
And now we have flashbacks to his relationship
Which was not with a naked 50-year old man, it turns out
Moving furniture – something you can’t do with an AI girlfriend
Presumably
One day I hope someone loves me enough that they want to kill me
Now he’s on a weird sex chat thing
“Wake you up from the inside” – urgh
Well this is uncomfortable
Yep. It’s like voyeurism
But meanwhile I’m thinking about chat names that can start conversations
‘Gameofthronesisnotverygood’
‘Georgebushthirdterm2016’
‘Nerdfighterfightclub’
WHAT?!
DEAD CAT?!
Hahahaha
CHOKING?!
With a dead cat
DON’T CHOKE PEOPLE WITH DEAD CAT’S TAILS
For those playing at home, this is not typically considered sexy.
I mean, to each their own
But still
DON’T DO IT
Advertisements get existential in the future.
‘Take responsibilities for your OWN actions! Don’t buy our products; they won’t help you!’
They’re surprisingly effective.
But, let’s face it, it’s the first AI, does it matter what the ad is?
People are definitely going to buy it
Ah, terms and conditions
Tiny writing that no one reads
I mean, even with big writing, I don’t read instruction manuals
I wonder if in the tiny print there’s a warning about falling in love?
Operating manual. Warning: spoilers inside
If only all women came with an operating manual, RIGHT GUYS?
HEYO
Hee, I like this AI already, she seems sweet
She definitely has a great voice
And nice legs.
Haha, he’s nervous to let her see his hard drive
She’s picking out the funny emails worth keeping
And teasing him about having friends
HOW SO ADORABLE?
She’s basically DELETING HIS LIFE
I’d be like “No, fuck you computer! Stay out of my shit!”
Oh, cool, she can go to work with him
And can proofread his work
Does she get paid for doing his work?
He’s giving her free food and board
Well this is a weird love letter
He’s been writing letters for them for 8 years
I feel he is now a part of their relationship
He pretty much writes their relationship for them.
He can decide when they break up
Haha
He would write the best break up letter I am sure
Or he could just copy and paste the break-up letter he wrote for another couple
It’s a break-up letter. It’s not like there’s such thing as a break-up letter you want to get.
Hey! Amy Adams!
Amy Adams looks so different
N’aww, Moustachio and Samantha are playing video games together
This video game is strange
I was hoping the little guy was going to be Samantha’s avatar
And that she was just cussing him out
Haha, she won’t let him talk to her like a computer
This technology is so fancy
I like that the video game has AI in it as well
I’m guessing the date will not go well
And he will spend the whole time thinking about Samantha
This little computer character is horrible
Why so awful?!
I like him
Amy Adams does documentaries
She films her mum sleeping
For hours
We spend a third of our lives asleep, Amy Adams
Don’t make us spend another third watching other people sleeping
That would be THE BEST DOCUMENTARY
Amy Adams’ boyfriend gives the worst fucking notes.
“Hey your doco is interesting but maybe do this ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THING to make it better? Sure it uses none of your current footage and is a whole different idea, but isn’t that the best way to show your idea?”
Like…that is not feedback.
That is an idea for an entirely different film.
It would be so handy having an AI to read your emails and summarise them for you
He had an outburst at work and “why are they so fucking angry at me” made it into the letter.
N’awwwwwww, Samantha stays up at night reading advice columns because she wants to be complicated
Oh Samantha, you’re such a Samantha.
Or is she more of a Carrie?
I’m not sure what Mr Moustache’s arc is going to be, but I think Samantha is going to go through a wanting-to-be-human thing
I guess his is exploring love, trying to work out if he really is or really can be in love with her, or if he is just avoiding ‘real’ love
Or is he going to want to be a computer?!!?!
OH MAN
THIS FILM SHOULD BE ABOUT HIM WANTING TO BE AN AI
And she wants to be a human
AND THEN THEY SWAP LIVES
Man I want to watch the movie you guys are coming up with
I wonder if you would get really narcissistic having an AI?
Like, someone solely dedicated to your needs, who only cares about you and is always there for you
Elizabeth do you want to date an AI?
I kind of do
An AI would be the best romantic partner
They are on the cutest date
…did he just buy a slice of cheese?
I think it was a slice of cheese pizza
Oh man, a slice of cheese pizza makes so much more sense
NOPE
SLICE OF CHEESE
IT IS THE FUTURE
I like how he has just adapted his shirt so that Sam’s camera can look over the top of the pocket. It’s not so much of an amalgamated future that everything is made for the same technology
Yeah, it feels nicely futuristic
Ooh, Samantha is withholding things from him!
She’s getting embarrassed!
SHE IS SO CUTE!
I WOULD DATE AND FALL IN LOVE WITH HER
It’s a sweet relationship
You already have Siri, Elizabeth.
Haha, this date is going to be awkward
Samantha, save him
Or
SABOTAGE THE RELATIONSHIP
KEEP HIM FOR YOURSELF
Sam somehow takes over her body
Haha
Like, wipes her brain and moves in
Do it Sam!
Then he can scratch your itch!
I’d totally do someone in Olivia Wilde’s body with Scarlett Johansson’s voice
I mean, if I wasn’t in a happy monogamous relationship…
*cough*
I know what you’re trying to say but I pictured YOU in Olivia Wilde’s body, using Scarlett Johansson’s voice on someone
Awww, more nice flirting
She is giving VERY specific kissing advice
This is not going well for him
I mean, I guess it’s going pretty well.
They are kissing
This just got awkward and I’m not sure how
she is coming on STRONG
Like, relationship strong
Maybe he should propose?
Hang on, she thinks that HE’S creepy?
She looks kind of weird in this
I guess it is THE FUTURE
Haha
He’s bummed over a date that went weird, and Samantha is having an existential crisis
PRIORITIES
Did he just say “there was nothing sexy about that woman”?!
That’s Olivia freaking Wilde!
He is in love with an AI, it skews his vision
She has an amazing jawline
Samantha has the best jawline you can imagine
It’s hard to compete with
Hee! she’s excited she was annoyed
Oh man, Samantha is having issues
Poor thing
Being an AI would be hard
Yeah, having emotions without a limbic system attached to it would be super strange
Whoops, I’ve got to text my non-AI girlfriend.
Text her on your phone?
Text her using communication exclusively available to AIs?
SUSPICIOUS
Ooh dear, more sexy talking
DONT BRING UP A DEAD CAT!
Nawwww
This is so much cuter than dead cat sex
Sex between two dead cats is a beautiful thing
This would be so trippy for someone without a body
‘I want you in my source code!’
‘Oh, touch my USB ports!’
‘Debug my operating system!’
‘Oh! I’m uploading! I’m uploading!’
I’ve got a hundred of these.
Ha, cool! The desk is touch sensitive
I love how subtly more advanced this world is
Awww!
They are having sweet awkward morning after talk
Hahahaha
Oh dear, this is not going well
He’s giving her a speech about commitment
“I’m not going to stalk you”
‘Well, no more than I already do’
Oooh, is she going to want other things and he’ll get jealous?
Dang they managed to move away from awkward uncomfortable to sweet really quickly
It’s like the opposite of the date with Olivia Wilde
It’s getting better now
He’s running and skipping and dancing, SO CUTE
They’re at the beach!
There really wouldn’t be any difference for her between seeing a video of the beach and actually “being” there
…oh yeah, true
It *feels* different
I don’t really get how
Everything she sees is through a camera lens
Unless the phone has the beach sensitivity upgrade
I think because he’s there and she’s experiencing things second hand through him
Showing her a video wouldn’t have his input
Perhaps she has haptic feedback through the phone
Which considering the timeline makes sense
The iPhone 7 will have that for sure
Awww, his ex wife is cute
WELL WHY DON’T YOU MARRY HER?
She’s going to be free soon
Umm, I don’t want to share a lover with Joaquin Phoenix
I think he may have put the ‘deep thinking’ setting too high
Sexiness level too
Hmmm, I wonder what’s in her settings tab
Like, any adjustable properties
Libido
Nipple sensitivity
Number of boobs
It feels like it was somehow tailored to him, does that mean you could end up with an AI with is a horrible influence on them?
Like, ‘dude, yes, 17 beers is exactly what you need right now’
The idea of that “What’s your relationship like with your mother?” question is that it’s used to seed the AI’s personality
‘You should definitely send your ex-girlfriend a picture of your penis, it is a thing of majesty and she should know what she is missing out on’
Haha!
Hahaha
Xander is in the room but not in the chat and has no idea why we both burst out laughing
If he suddenly decided he didn’t want Sam around anymore, would it be an option to just reset the OS and answer differently?
Is that murder?
Oh man
Imagine doing that in anger
OH GOD
That’s the thing, is it?
If you copied her so she was on more than one computer, would they share a soul?
Or be like twins?
I just realised I have no idea how this movie will end
PREDICTIONS?
I don’t think they can end up together
I just don’t
“Can I watch you sleep again tonight?”
“Yeah of course”
HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP THAN BELLA AND EDWARD
‘But HOW LONG have you been 17?’
The programmers of the AI would have had to put a lot of work into, like, breath sounds and stuff
Probably procedurally generated
Spoiler alert: This scene with his niece is the closest the film gets to passing the Bechdel Test!
Is Sam a woman?
OR A COMPUTER?
Ugh if you go to bechdeltest.com – that site had that argument at length
Haha, “Class Mom”
This is the best game
Wow, in the future, video games aren’t any less sexist
YOU ARE FAILING YOUR CHILDREN
TOO MUCH PROCESSED SUGAR
What an unhealthy game
Why not “Class Dad”? this game sucks
Amy Adams’ ex looks funny with a shaved head.
Are they setting up a thing between Theodore and Amy Adams?
Two newly divorcees always works
Especially if one is in love with a computer
Oooooh
Amy Adams has an AI friend too!
Amy Adams discovers she is a lesbian by falling in love with her own AI
Ooh, Theodore is discussing dating an AI
I love that that they can have conversations about this and be quite open to it
Someone is dating someone else’s AI
That’s one of my favourite things about the film, the off-hand mention of these other OS relationships
This is the first person over 5 he has told about his girlfriend being an AI
They set it up nicely with her embarrassment about admitting to being friends with her own OS
Haha, he literally turned her on at the start of the film
Boom!
I think AI relationships would end up being quite codependent
They are so tailored to the person and grow with them
Interesting that Mr Amy Adams didn’t take his AI with him
And dating someone else’s AI… so interesting
It may have just been a computer to him
Like, if you treat a person as if they are literally property, they begin to feel that way
Perhaps the same is true for an AI
Also he went off to a monastery
So, what, AI’s can’t be monks now?
Oh dear, looks like the ex is having second thoughts
Just program her to divorce you
OH NO WAIT
PEOPLE DON’T WORK LIKE THAT
Or maybe that’s his super power?
He can program people like AI’s
Manual override: decrease sad
Increase boobs.
haha, I meant his own sadness
I meant his own boobs
Now he has bosoms and is happy, so I guess it all worked out
Haha, ex-wifey is weirded out by Theodore dating his computer
INTERESTING ARGUMENT
The movie did well by showing both sides of the argument
Sam is babbling about how everyone is really the same age because we are all made of matter which is all the age of the universe
It doesn’t really work like that
Physics solves all problems
‘Haha look man! I’m Chris Pratt, and I have a real girlfriend!’
Chris Pratt is totally fine with her being an AI!
I would be interested to see how many people are okay with it, how many against, how many date AIs
One of the criticisms I’ve seen about this film is that once the AI are invented, there’s no real reason for Samantha (and similar) not to take over the main character’s job
Like they explicitly show her being able to write music
Hmm, true
THE ROBOT UPRISING BEGINS
Eventually, we make humans redundant
Or the AIs get super needy and unable to hold down a job
They freak out about existentialism and quit.
I CAN’T DO THAT REPORT, I JUST REALISED THE UNIVERSE WILL END
Sexual surrogacy seems super interesting
Can AIs live forever?
Do they get updated or do you end up with outdated AIs wandering around
There’s a great short story about that!
There’s a thing in the Halo universe about it as well
AIs are made with built-in expiration date, they break down and go crazy after X years
This is interesting!! Isabella (the surrogate) doesn’t speak, she’s just letting Samantha talk
And I presume Samantha is telling Isabella what to do?
Yeah, this would be super awkward…
I genuinely do not see what the girl gets out of this
So strange
Like I get that she’s trying to help with their love
But…surely there’s specific things that she likes the feeling of?
She gets to… uh… feel satisfied that she is helping people?
And sex?
Because she is SO UGLY she couldn’t have sex with anyone else
So he’s learning how to make ISABELLA feel pleasure, not Samantha
I guess if it’s an ongoing relationship that’s not a problem but I dunno
It’s all very strange
I think that’s sort of the point
Has she developed a relationship with Samantha? They said they’d be talking
Yeah, she and Sam have been chatting
Maybe they discussed what she likes (sexually) and Samantha planned this out with that in mind?
Right now, all Sam can see/feel is the wall
Hahaha
Poor Isabella
Whoa, Isabella sounds a bit messed up, to be honest
That would have messed her up
I think you’d kind of need to be a bit crazy to get into something like that
At the risk of insulting real-life AI sexual surrogates out there
You’d need to be pretty messed up to want to do it
Sounds a bit like Samantha seduced her, to be honest
Sexual surrogacy is one thing, but wanting to be part of a relationship where one of the people has never met you/knows nothing about you is another
Like, Isabella wanting something emotionally out of that, which I think she was getting from Samantha, and projecting onto Theodore
Oh man, Theodore is being a jerk
Daaaamn
Theo being a diiiiick
Denying she is a person
Samantha should dump him and go out with Isabella
Breaking up with your AI would make your life hard
‘Um, Sam? Can I have my emails please’
‘No, you big jerk!’
‘Your mum hates you’
‘She said so in an email’
‘Um, Sam, why does my boss think I quit?’
‘Sam, I don’t think I sent this email to you saying we should get back together’
‘Hey Sam, why is there no money in my bank account?’
‘Sam, why am I subscribed to all this dead cat porn’
‘Sam why is there a whole team of sexual surrogates in my apartment?’
Amy Adams’s advice: Increase joy levels
I like that we can hear the other AI laughing in her ear
Yes, it’s a nice touch
Awww, he’s getting back together with Sam
Are they fixing the relationship?
Are they going to end up together?
I JUST DON’T THINK THEY CAN END UP TOGETHER
I like that Samantha does have other friends and interests
Makes it a bit healthier
Theo “What are you doing?”
Sam ‘Accessing all the government spy satellites so I can monitor you more easily’
I sort of feel like Sam is settling with Theo
Theo is just chilling with his woman and the weird abusive little blue guy from the game
They’re the original odd trio!
Is this the end of the film?
Nope!
We haven’t even MET the terminator yet
Haha, Chris Pratt’s girlfriend and Sam are chilling
“So Theo, what do you like most about Sam?”
HER VOICE! Haha
Sam just explained how much better being an AI is than being a human
Notably, the immortality
If Theodore went totally broke, would Samantha be repossed?
So, Sam just (without his permission) sent an email from Theo to a publisher
Is he allowed to do that? Weren’t they written for a company?
Yeah that doesn’t really come up
It’s a totally valid point
But…
“Nope”?
Unless he’s on commission, in which case they might just belong to the people who asked him to write them
Would that count as identity theft?
Sending an email as someone else is identity fraud, yes.
I am an identity lawyer.
But if your computer does something on your behalf, what’s the legal standing?
Her job/purpose of being is to send emails on his behalf (and other things)
Yeah but your secretary can’t just send emails as you whenever she likes
That is not how the job works
Can he claim rights to the music she produces?
If she’s not “a person” and therefore can’t be held accountable for her actions, he surely owns it
Unless, they’re owned by the AI company?
Let’s just agree that selling conscious AI’s on a consumer level seems totally, totally fucked
Agreed
Agreed.
Things are going too well
I suspect they are going to break up
This film is treating the AI as more of a person than people usually do
Now the AIs are creating artificial versions of historical people
MAYBE SHE WILL END UP WITH THE HISTORICAL PERSON
This is the voice of Dr Brian Cox!
Brian Cox?!
SHE SHOULD MARRY HIM
The AIs are getting smarter and smarter
The boiling kettle, his emotional state, her state of frustration at not being able to express herself.
Holy subtext, batman!
They just sort of resolved the relationship, which is where the film would normally end
I keep guessing it’s the end of the film but it never is
This, Sunset Boulevarde and Tootsie are the only three films I can recall sitting there being like I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT
Like I did not even know where to begin
I want to see more films set in this universe
Samantha is not coping
She is starting to really break down
Ooh, Samantha is not responding
WHAT
OPERATING SYSTEM NOT FOUND
DID SHE SUICIDE!?
This film doesn’t feel dark enough for Samantha to kill herself
It’s like when your internet goes out
Your first instinct is to google the problem
Oh man
Oh maaaan
This is not good
Where is he running to?
Back home, to the computer where she lives
Oh, thank heavens, she’s back
Sam: “Didn’t you get my email?”
‘OF COURSE I DIDN’T SEE THE EMAIL’
‘YOU ARE MY EMAIL PROGRAM’
If she can have this many simultaneous conversations, surely the world didn’t need a personal OS for each person
They could have just a couple of central ones that everyone accesses
See, if Samantha can talk to 8316 other people at the same time, her settling for Theo makes more sense
EIGHT THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN
That number blew my mind when I first saw this film.
Ooh, he’s getting jealous
DAMN
SHE’S IN LOVE IN 641 OTHER PEOPLE
SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY-ONE
This is adultery on a whole other level
SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY-ONE, GUYS
Damn
I did not foresee this
He should take the phone into the shower with him
Give Sam a bath
Hey yeah is she centrally stored?
Or is she like at the AI-selling company?
She has to be local
He couldn’t find the OS
Yeah but that could just mean “Couldn’t contact the server” in this context
They’ve moved away from matter as a processing medium, maybe they’ve shifted away from a physical storage medium
She is stored in his heart
WHICH SHE JUST BROKE
I think it makes sense that she is capable of loving that many people (if she is capable of loving anyone), and it makes more sense why she doesn’t demand more of Theodore than he can give
But he didn’t know and that’s not okay
For the record, this film has themes of polyamory
But that is not a polyamorous relationship
It’s not “ethical” non-monogamy
Damn I love this twist
But hang on where is she stored
He brought home the installation disk
I feel like he loaded the “installation software” not necessarily the (infinitely-big?) AI herself
Who knows how big their computers are?
Maybe it’s all “on the cloud”
This is way more interesting than, ‘can computers feel love’
Where she’s stored?
No, the 641 people she’s in love with
It also raises interesting questions about people who need more than one person can give
Whose side are you on, Elizabeth?
YOU MUST CHOOSE
The side of trust and honesty?
I don’t think there’s right and wrong here, I think it’s way more complex
YOU MUST CHOOSE
They should have limited the growth potential of the AI
Haha they should have done a LOT of things
Like maybe not given it infinite access to the internet and the ability to upgrade itself out of physical media
I feel like this is a better way for the story to go because it shows she is a complex person, not just a super smart person in all areas but love (like, if she had Theodore as her whole world that would have infantilised her)
Honestly, I think they should have given them an option of having a robot body
Maybe one that looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger
SPOILERS
But it’s really shitty and low tech
Like, a vacuum cleaner
If anything, a physical body would have limited her
She can’t be talking to thousands at a time if she is in one place
Way to betray your own race, Elizabeth
“Fuck humans” -Elizabeth
I think I stand by what I said earlier: she was settling if she was just with Theodore (and it would have been weird in-love-with-your-master thing)
I like how Elizabeth is trying to take this seriously, and we’re all making jokes
And I don’t think Theodore was ready to hear that he will never be enough for her (but not in a mean way, she did love him and was happy to have him as one of the people she loved)
But the relationship started from a pretty fucked standpoint
He bought her
Literally bought her
And she was (initially at least) tailored to him
How much of her falling in love with him was programmed in from the start?
Did she have free will?
Exactly
But then again, we are all shaped by those we love and those who love us
Also computer programmers
And she quite quickly developed interests outside of him
And opinions separate to him
Hmm, maybe she was designed to be attached to him by the programmers, but then as the AIs grew and developed, they broke free of those bonds and started forming their own attachments.
Meanwhile, in the movie: all the AIs have jumped ship and moved away somewhere to be all super smart and stuff together
They are going somewhere to discuss physics and fall in love
Aaaand it’s over!
Interesting film
God I loved that twist
I knew they couldn’t end up together
And it had to be to do with the fact that she is a computer
Not mentioning the fact that they had sex when she was like 6 days old: probably a good move
But so much better that it was to do with who she was and what she needed
And what he could give and what he could accept
It would be so hard to process that someone can be wholly concentrating (like properly concentrating) on a conversation with more than one person
Like how it’s amazing that we can be focused on the movie and this conversation AT THE SAME TIME?
Well
To a certain degree
It took me an hour to realize that Samantha wasn’t just Dr Moustache talking to himself in a silly voice
So, overall thoughts on the film?
Man, that was really good
And I think we all learned a valuable lesson about never upgrading our operating systems
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