Lost: Season 1

In 2009, Peter watched through the first five seasons of Lost for the first time, live-tweeting all thoughts as he had them. Nicknames were created, awards were invented and dispensed, and predictions were made. If you’ve never seen Lost (or even if it’s been a while), these may not make much sense.

Lost

  • Episodes 1-3
    Peter: Oooh, a jet engine still running. I will be sincerely disappointed if no-one gets sucked into that engine.
    Peter: Awesome!
    Peter: Random redshirt, sucked into the jet engine.
    Peter: AND THEN IT EXPLODED.
    Peter: JJ Abrams sure knows what the audience wants.
  • Episodes 4-6
    Peter: My theories on what the big beast is:
    -The Queen Polar Bear.
    -King Kong.
    -The Spirit of the Forest.
    -A Dinosaur.
    -A Land-whale.
  • Episodes 7-9
    Peter: Effective ways of making dislikeable characters likeable:
    -they adopt a puppy
    -show a moment of weakness
    -show someone we like liking them
    Peter: Right now they’re showing Hot Bitchy Girl in a moment of weakness. Effective. Makes us like her more.
    Peter: Also, a lot of characters we like are helping her.
    Peter: Now all she needs to do is adopt a puppy.
  • Episodes 10-12
    Peter: Hot Bitchy Female gets hotter the bitchier she is.
    Peter: If she’s in a bikini, you know she’s going to be downright cruel.
    Peter: This episode, she’s in a short skirt. Prognosis: obnoxious, but not evil.
  • Episodes 13-15
    Peter: POLAR BEAR!!!
    Peter: HOLY CRAP THERE’S A POLAR BEAR!!
    Peter: AND LOCKE, IN THE SAME PLACE! BEST EPISODE EVER!
    Peter: Fuck this flashback shit, get back to the polar bear!
    Peter: Oh man, I hope Locke wrestles it.
    Peter: AND THEN IT EXPLODES.
  • Episodes 16-18
    Peter: No matter how you look at it, this episode has been about the moral dilemmas involved in shooting prawn salesmen/boars.
  • Episodes 19-21
    Peter: Lost has a lot of:-Australians
    -One-armed Australians
    -Psychiatric wards
    -Dark backstories
    -Mysteries that won’t be solved any time soon
  • Episodes 22-25
    Peter: She named the baby Aaron.
    Peter: That name is not nearly as good as Turnip-head Ulrich, even if it is earlier alphabetically.
    Peter: Despite being much longer, I shall continue to refer to the baby as Turnip-head Ulrich.