In 2009, Peter watched through the first five seasons of Lost for the first time, live-tweeting all thoughts as he had them. Nicknames were created, awards were invented and dispensed, and predictions were made. If you’ve never seen Lost (or even if it’s been a while), these may not make much sense.
- Episodes 1-3
Peter: Oooh, a jet engine still running. I will be sincerely disappointed if no-one gets sucked into that engine.
Peter: Random redshirt, sucked into the jet engine.
Peter: AND THEN IT EXPLODED.
Peter: JJ Abrams sure knows what the audience wants.
- Episodes 4-6
Peter: My theories on what the big beast is:
-The Queen Polar Bear.
-The Spirit of the Forest.
- Episodes 7-9
Peter: Effective ways of making dislikeable characters likeable:
-they adopt a puppy
-show a moment of weakness
-show someone we like liking them
Peter: Right now they’re showing Hot Bitchy Girl in a moment of weakness. Effective. Makes us like her more.
Peter: Also, a lot of characters we like are helping her.
Peter: Now all she needs to do is adopt a puppy.
- Episodes 10-12
Peter: Hot Bitchy Female gets hotter the bitchier she is.
Peter: If she’s in a bikini, you know she’s going to be downright cruel.
Peter: This episode, she’s in a short skirt. Prognosis: obnoxious, but not evil.
- Episodes 13-15
Peter: POLAR BEAR!!!
Peter: HOLY CRAP THERE’S A POLAR BEAR!!
Peter: AND LOCKE, IN THE SAME PLACE! BEST EPISODE EVER!
Peter: Fuck this flashback shit, get back to the polar bear!
Peter: Oh man, I hope Locke wrestles it.
Peter: AND THEN IT EXPLODES.
- Episodes 16-18
Peter: No matter how you look at it, this episode has been about the moral dilemmas involved in shooting prawn salesmen/boars.
- Episodes 19-21
Peter: Lost has a lot of:-Australians
-Mysteries that won’t be solved any time soon
- Episodes 22-25
Peter: She named the baby Aaron.
Peter: That name is not nearly as good as Turnip-head Ulrich, even if it is earlier alphabetically.
Peter: Despite being much longer, I shall continue to refer to the baby as Turnip-head Ulrich.