[[Episode 13]]
Episode 12 definitely wins “least compelling cliffhanger” so far, by the way.
I can’t help but wonder if Sayeed and Shannon are going to get together.
Shannon’s brother’s flashback episode! (my earlier theory about them not being brothers/sisters may be confirmed or denied)
Locke: “Be nice to Sayeed. We may need him on our side.”
Our side?? Locke seems to be predicting some sort of war. Against…the island?
Of course, Locke is crazy for the island, so that doesn’t really make sense. Perhaps against the Others.
Apparently this episode is going to be about Hurley’s bowel movements. Joy.
Kate and Jack are being extremely civil.
The writers: “Crap! They haven’t been pleasant lately. How can we make them have sex if they’re not on speaking terms??”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Locke is awesome. His metaphors alone make him cooler than the other characters put together.
It’s really incredibly obvious that they didn’t actually film the Australian scenes in Australia.
This “typical Aussie house” that Boom is visiting looks like it came straight out of Desperate Housewives.
Maybe this is an obvious one, but my prediction is that Boom is gay.
Locke!! No!!! Why is it that as soon as I express my love of a character, they hit someone else in the back of the head with a knife??
Okay, so he’s doing a “sink or swim” thing. Locke continues to be incredibly awesome. Psychotic, but I still love him.
“She’s your step-sister.”
God damn I rock.
Is…is that Sawyer, being arrested during this police station scene?
Again, this really clearly wasn’t filmed in Australia. He is using an American hose to clean that dock.
I can’t work out how accurate those Aussie cops were. On one hand, they were portrayed like how US cops are always shown…
…on the other hand, Aussie cops would no doubt be quite horrible to a visiting Yank.
The Island is inventing a Shannon to motivate Boom to escape.
Either that, or it’s Locke impersonating her. I wouldn’t put it past him.
Oh, okay. There actually was a Shannon there. Again, I’m guessing Locke’s responsible.
Do we EVER actually get to see this damned monster?
My prediction: no.
My favourite Locke quote: “I have looked into the eye of this island, and I saw that it was beautiful.”
Early on. 4th episode?
Sun (to Kate): “Have you never lied to a man you loved?”
This would be the perfect opportunity for a flashback, if it wasn’t Boom’s turn.
Jack just gave Charlie a pill. He’s not back on the drugs is he?
Oh. Apparently aspirin helps with heroin withdrawal. That seems as likely as a bandaid helping with terminal cancer.
“If there is one man I’d put my trust in to save us all, that man would be John Locke.”
-this is why Charlie lived. So he could say that line.
Guava seeds! The Big Green House, my Brisbane abode, had a guava tree. Guavas are awesome.
“He tied us up, Boom. Why?”
YOU DO NOT QUESTION JOHN LOCKE
The monster has only appeared twice now, both times soon after rain. Coincidence?
Holy fuck, is Shannon being eaten by the monster?
“You brought the money because you’re in love with me.”
That’s why I thought they weren’t really brother and sister. Could sense the sparks.
Of course, a great double-twist now would be for them to find out that they ARE brother and sister, after they’ve slept together.
(it will never happen. American TV avoids that kind of thing at alllll costs.)
Predictions:
-The monster is a toenail clipping that John Locke trimmed off one day.
-Shannon won’t be dead after all.
-Jack and Kate kiss.
He’s found a wounded and bloodied Shannon, but there’s still hope. Remember Charlie!
Oh, wow. It WAS an imaginary Shannon, created by the island. Shouldn’t have doubted myself.
“That wasn’t real?” “It was only as real as you made it.”
Prediction: -This island is the matrix?
So far, Locke has:
-provided food for the entire island
-got Charlie off drugs
-given Boom a spiritual awakening
-saved everyone’s lives
Predictions: in the next few episodes, Locke will:
-rescue Claire and singlehandedly deliver her baby
-get Kate and Jack together
-do Sawyer
And there ends the episode!
Most intriguing: Boom.
Most likeable: Locke (as always.)
Least likeable: Shannon’s boyfriend.
[[Episode 14]]
We open with Michael (black father) – hopefully this will be his flashback episode!
Last episode didn’t have any Sawyer in it at all, unless that was him in the cop shop.
Young Michael has an utterly adorable smile.
Locke is training Walt to throw knives. THIS WON’T END WELL
I have various thoughts on knives:
-I read somewhere that throwing knives are a terrible weapon. Inaccurate and almost completely useful. But damn they look cool.
-Why does no one on this island have a swiss army knife?
-Joe Peacock did a great article on “how to fight“, said stay away from knives. Said get a red marker, and fight someone who is holding it – at the end of the fight, see how much red marker you have on your person. Any more than 2 marks, and you would be dead. Interesting stuff.
…and yet there have been three or four fistfights with knives on this show, and no major injuries. Except Sawyer, I guess.
Michael is being a real prat this episode. Would like to give most likeable character to someone other than Locke, but, well…
Who could possibly deserve “Most likeable character” more than Locke?
Michael is suggesting they build a raft. Sayeed’s response sums it up perfectly:
“A raft.”
I think that the female closest to Walt’s age is Shannon, at 20. They should totally get it on, in….8 years time.
Things this show needs more of:
-Polar bears
-explosions
-sex
-Michael being hit by cars
So far we’ve had 1 polar bear, 2 explosions, 2 sexes (in flashbacks) and Michael being hit by one car.
Maybe I’ll give Walt Most likeable, just because he’s been consistently amusing. Also babies are cute.
Sawyer needs more of a role than just “person they go to when they want to find item X”
I can’t watch Boom and Shannon interact without thinking “OMG they had SEX”
Locke: “He’s your father, he cares about you, and you need to show him respect.”
Hot damn, Locke. How can I NOT give you Most likeable?
Meanwhile, Michael isn’t even trying not to win Least likeable. He has not done a single endearing thing this episode.
Peter’s stupid moment of the episode:
I only JUST realised that “Amsterdam” wasn’t in the US.
Yeah, pretty stupid.
Walt’s mother is pretty likeable. I mean, I’d hate her if I were Michael, but her reasoning is sound.
Characters I want to see more of:
-Hurley
-Sawyer
-Locke.
And we already see a fair amount of Locke.
They should make this show entirely about Locke. They’d only need to change a few letters of the title.
So Charlie’s whole monotone “I didn’t see anything, I didn’t hear anything” wasn’t self-protection, it was guilt. Interesting.
Predictions for the contents of Claire’s diary:
-It continues past the date that she was kidnapped
-It’s in French
-Mentions the psychic
“I’m feeling fluey.” Good line, because we already knows she dies before the series starts.
Brian (Walt’s step-dad) is looking really suss. Predictions:
-he kills Walt’s mum.
-Walt is psychic in some way.
-He fiddles with Walt.
Walt’s mum is called “Susan”. For a while I kept typoing “Crazy Danielle” as “Crazy Susan”. They are unlikely to be the same character.
Although I’m not sure it’s a typo when almost none of the letters are the same.
All my predictions on Brian were way off. It seems he was just a terrible father.
no, wait! “There’s something about him. Sometimes when he’s around, things happen. He’s different somehow.”
My money is still on “psychic”, which is nicely vague. Maybe the plane was full of everyone in the world touched by psychics in some way.
Michael’s just been handed a box full of pieces of paper. “I think Walt should have it.” Baseball cards? People who have died ‘cos of Walt?
POLAR BEAR!!!
HOLY CRAP THERE’S A POLAR BEAR!! AND LOCKE, IN THE SAME PLACE! BEST EPISODE EVER!
Fuck this flashback shit, get back to the polar bear!
Oh man, I hope Locke wrestles it.
AND THEN IT EXPLODES.
Oh boy & then Sawyer could turn up and just be topless and witty. And then Kate could take her top off & then…come on! Back to the bear!!
AND WE’RE BACK!!
Locke and Michael are walking on a branch for some reason. Come on Locke, just stab it with your knife!
Haha, Walt just stabbed a polar bear with a knife!
(Walt had the knife, though it would have been cooler if the bear had)
POLAR BEAR
Oh god I’m glad I’m watching this on DVD, because that commercial break would have killed me.
Okay, I hate to say it, but this is the wussiest polar bear ever. Two stabs from a tiny knife and it runs off?
As fans of Kevin Smith would know, “Polar bears are the fiercest killers in the animal kingdom.” Two wussy stabs?
My adrenaline is pumping. The rest of this episode is bound to be a letdown. Holy crap that was awesome though.
Aww, the box was full of letters that Michael sent. On one hand that’s sweet, on the other: 8 years of letters in 1 tiny box? Weak, Michael.
Meanwhile, Claire’s diary was full of lovely little comments about Charlie, and…she had a dream about a black rock. ANOTHER MYSTERY.
I keep trying to make lists of current mysteries, but forgetting some. Mysteries I’ve not had on previous lists:
-black rock
-hatch in ground
Oh awesome, they found Claire! Now THAT’s how you do a cliffhanger!
For that ep:
Most intriguing: Walt (psychic?)
Most likeable: Locke.
Least likeable: Michael, but he got better at the end.
[[Episode 15]]
I genuinely don’t understand why no-one has sought out Crazy Danielle yet. She surely knows more about the island than anyone.
(‘cept Locke)
Go and find her, ask her a few questions. Like “Is your son Ethan??” and “WHAT IS UP WITH THIS ISLAND?”
Oh, Claire’s still pregnant! I thought for sure Ethan was going to have held onto her baby. Much more compelling.
Also: Hurley should go around and (like in his census) find out what everyone dreams about. Could be full of clues!
Claire has…amNESIA!! #Futurama
Sometimes the time cues are clumsy (“Can you believe we’ve been here 3 weeks?”) & sometimes they’re great (“We crashed here. A month ago.”)
So Claire’s been in the jungle for 2 weeks. The first 8 or so episodes were roughly 1 episode/day. The last 5 have been over about 2 weeks.
“Ethan’s the bad guy”. Haha, I love justified meta-conversations.
Also I love unjustified ones. “Welcome to Boston Legal.”
What?? CHARLIE is getting a second flashback episode? Come on! I want Hurley’s!!
That may well have been the most pointless flashback in the history of Lost. “Charlie is chatting to girls in a bar.” Please.
My housemate tells me Jin is a lot more interesting once he learns to speak English.
Oh cool, the return of Ethan. He’s threatening to kill people. In all fairness mate, that doesn’t seem to be your speciality.
Have these guys forgotten that they have 3 guns and a heap of bullets??
“If we don’t give her back and he kills one of us, their blood’s on our hands.” I respectfully disagree, Jack.
“Where is the old man?”
“I think he’s buying some paper company up in Slough.”
Ha! That is genuinely brilliant.
I am going to repeat: the flashbacks this episode seem utterly pointless. Except for that great line, of course.
Kate brought up the (4, my mistake) guns. Jack: “I’m not putting guns in untrained hands!”
Someone’s going to die tonight.Almost certainly a minor, minor character, but possibly someone who’s had a line or two. Annoying Hypochondriac?
Okay, those earlier scenes are sort of justified. Honestly though, the story would be tighter without them.
I should just quickly mention that Boom as mini-Locke rocks. Not as hard as Locke of course, but he’s still pretty damned cool.
Aaand as soon as I type that, he falls asleep on duty. Come on!
It appears I have the power to control character actions. I say a character is cool, they do something stupid.
Ethan came from…the ocean?
Scott died. Minor character, don’t think he’s had more than one line. “Hey Steve!” “I’m Scott – that’s Steve.” In an early ep.
Prediction: another character will die this next night, someone with slightly larger role. Rose?
Also, I reckon Ethan is getting in using the submarine. The submarine that I made up accidentally.
Worst flashbacks ever. We already know that Charlie’s going to end up on drugs. There’s nowhere for the story to go.
Ha! Jack (to Locke): “I’m guessing you know how to handle one of these” (guns). He shouldn’t, but he does. Locke is awesome.
Locke: “You ever fire a weapon, Charlie?”
Yeah right Locke, like you have.
Come on flashbacks, at least TRY to suck less.
Sawyer should learn to carve bullets out of bone. That would a) give him a role, and b) mean more guns.
In real life I’m anti-gun, but in fiction? Bring them on!
My prediction: Ethan will disable someone and end up with his own gun, completely removing the advantage.
It’s raining! Let’s see if the monster appears in the next episode or two.
Although thinking about it, when the monster appeared for Boom it was only a hallucination.
Come on guys, where are you?? Jack is getting his arse handed to him! …again!
Ethan is beating the hell out of Jack, the others show up with guns. Sure would be handy to have some handcuffs now.
Locke: “We want him alive”. LISTEN TO LOCKE, CHARLIE.
Charlie, that was ridiculously dumb. There are SO MANY THINGS you could have found out by not killing him.
Shooting out his kneecaps would have been my move. Easier to stop someone from escaping if they have no kneecaps.
Charlie: “He deserved to die.”
Slippery slope, letting him get away with this, deciding who lives and who dies.
Now that we’ve reached the end of Charlie’s flashback tale, I can honestly say it’s utterly pointless. We have learned nothing from this.
Charlie gets Least Likeable character easily this ep.
Most Likeable: Locke (as always),
Most Intriguing: Ethan.
Though thanks to Charlie, probably won’t get to learn much about his past. Stupid Charlie.
Might have to invent a new category, “Least Likeable other than Locke.”
Claire: “I remember peanut butter.” – ooh, nice callback.
Jury’s still out on whether Claire’s amnesia is island-caused or genuine stress caused. Aaand end of episode.
[[Running tally:]]
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