Okay, sitting down to watch Game of Thrones for the FIRST TIME EVER.
BRING IT ON
Knowing what happens we get to be totally smug
HOW ABOUT THE THING
THE THING THAT HAPPENS
Oh man, that thing
That most shocking of things
Have you managed to avoid all spoilers Elizabeth?
I have experienced no spoilers!
That’s…actually pretty impressive.
Snow! I love snow! I wish it snowed here
EW EW EW EW
SEVERED HEADS EVERYWHERE
And other body parts
That is unfortunate
Artfully arranged though, no?
Yeah, to make it freakier
Hey mocking guy, dead bodies are worrying, don’t be so dismissive
Pull yourself together Elizabeth
The body parts are gone
Not a good sign
Cannibals? Zombies? Artists unhappy with their work?
EW IS THAT INTESTINES
Creepy little girl
I like this opening!
Yes you do
I feel I know the name Sean Bean
Yes you do
Also everything else
Oh, right, cool
N’aww, I like Sean Bean
The girl made the shot!
What fun times
Said a watcher of GoT, for the last time
No, I reeeeaaally don’t need to see more beheading
Was there a beheading?
It sounds like there was a beheading
So many beheadings
They beheaded the deserter
I like that – the man who passes the sentence should be the man who swings the sword
I suspect the white walkers will be relevant
Ugh, I have to see dead deers too?
The Starks have some good sayings
Wise people, the Starks
They do seem pretty smart.
Although their saying is “winter is coming” and they live in a place called “Winterfell”
That’s pretty silly.
That’s a lot of innards on the outards
You will see a lot of dead everything babes
Nooo, don’t kill the puppies!
Listen to the man, keep the puppies
Mister Not-a-Stark seems nice
His last name is Snow
A Snow White puppy for Snow
This show is the best
Creepy eye stones
That castle looks weirdly futuristic
Ooh, pretty forest
Wait, where did the snow go? Has time passed?
When they were outside earlier, there was snow. Now there’s not.
Are they inside?
I’m not 100% certain who these people are
Is that Papa Puppy Giver?
Welcome to experiencing the first few episodes
Papa Puppy Giver is called Ned, apparently
Exposition will happen in a minute
And long reddy brown hair lady
I think it’s his wife
Mister Not-A-Stark is having very dangerous looking shaving times
“He’s never met a girl he likes more than his own hair”
I see you’ve met Jon
Little puppy dude! Bran?
Off on an adventure!
Ugh, so much castle, this show is the best
I am also enjoying all of the horses
This king be craaazy
He’s played by the guy from The Full Monty
He looks so different!
He a king now
Ironically, he’s also the sole character who remains clothed on camera
Little helmet girl is cool
She’s a little girl in a helmet
Sort of small, female, wearing a helmet
Still not with you
Hmm, I wonder who smug looking blonde boy is?
Everyone’s favourite character
I think more people should bow when I come to visit their castle
I think you should visit more castles
This guy is helpfully naming people
Little helmet girl’s name is Iron?
A month is a long time to be riding
I thought the two hours to Brisbane was far
WAS THAT A SWEAR?!
Hehe, “I’m not trying to honour you, I’m trying to get you to run my kingdom.”
Haha, “I have a son, you have a daughter…” I can do that maths!
Hey, Peter Dinklage!
Also from The Full Monty!
He’s changed, man
Whoa, what was that lady doing?
Why is she wearing no clothes?
There is a lot of nudity going on right now
I suspect Peter Dinklage is the imp they are talking about
Haha, barge in, have a drink, send in more whores
that is a weird friendship (brothership?)
Land of the blonde?
Just casually strip that lady, no big deal
I am confused as to whether these people are siblings or not
That’s just a risk you run when you watch GoT
…they probably are
Yeah, they siblings
I suspect I am going to see a lot of breasts and bottoms in this show
It’s always possible
Still, I guess it’s better to see breasts and bottoms on alive naked people
Rather than just lying around.
The nudity is surprisingly progressive.
I have now seen the same number of man breasty bits as lady breasty bits
Whoa, who’s this weird blonde guy
“Is it true they lie with their horses?”
“I wouldn’t ask”
I like him
Does weird blonde guy have a name?
His sister’s name is long and starts with D
Lady, that shirt is a bit thin
Whoa! More swearing! And an inappropriate number of people and horses he will let sleep with his sister
Viserys and Daenerys
She likes Viserys
He is fun!
I can’t believe you like Viserys.
Joffrey is a name I have heard
Red headed girl is saying “it’s the only thing I ever wanted”
that is not a little thing, that is wanting to be the future queen
I like Jon Snow (I think that is his name, bastard son dude)
He seems nice
Yes. He’s a good egg that one
Guys, you don’t have to keep calling him a bastard
Even if you are giving advice
And are the queen’s brother
N’aw, “all dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes”
Whoa, you don’t just ask about a girl’s first period
Little girl throwing food, I love you
That would make more sense than Iron
Hehe, D-long name is appreciating getting snakes for presents
“Dany” is what most call her
I think there is more than cuddling going on
D-long name I sympathise with your plight
Did they just kill a guy?!
Three deaths or it is dull
Sounds like a Hayward gathering
Books for presents, much better
Dragon’s eggs! How cool
Oh, poor Dany looks so scared
Hey! She just got a pet horse!
Or, well, not a pet
Dany and her husband having matching horse and hair colour
you poor love
There is constant nudity, sex and death, why do I keep being surprised by the swearing?
Bran! Don’t fall!
Or watch people have sex, ew
Oh my gosh, so much sex
I don’t know who these people are, but I suspect they were not meant to be sleeping together
PUSHING THE LITTLE KID OUT THE WINDOW WAS NOT THE SOLUTION
IS THAT KID NOW DEAD?!!??!!??!
I AM FEELING TRAUMATISED RIGHT NOW
What!? You can’t end the episode there!
THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO WATCH MORE
…will that improve things?
In some ways
Not in others
The two having sex have something in common, I’ll say that
They aren’t related? That’s not what you mean, right?
Ugh, I am watching more
She has been sucked in
This show is the worst
I think I need more tea
Always more tea
I have acquired more tea. Let’s do this.
That is a lot of horses
Up to three, easily
Possibly even more
Poor little Dany, she is really not coping
Viscery continues to be adorable
You are a twisted woman
Ugh, sounds a lot like little kid is definitely dead
I am glad Jaime is slapping prince dude, he was being a jerk
Jaime slaps him?
Ohhh we are getting names mixed up I think
Tyrion is the dwarf
Oh, yeah, he was the one slapping prince dude
Jaime pushed Bran out of a window
Yeah, it looks a lot like people sleeping together were the king’s wife and her brother
That’s creepy man
This family is not cool
Except Peter Dinklage
He’s pretty cool
Tyrion is our fave
…does Tyrion know about the sleeping together of his siblings?
BRAN MIGHT LIVE?!!!??
Oh my gosh I want Bran to live so much
Please don’t plot to kill Bran
Name of queen?
Pronounced “Sir-say” or “Sir-see”
Sair-see I thought
Although my accent
Well we can’t all be British
They say all three at some point or another
Queenie-face seems to be trying to make out that she doesn’t want Bran to die
Despite the fact that she definitely does want him to die.
This does not bode well
Jaime seems to be up to mischief
Arya and Jon Snow are the best
Yes they are!
Jon gave Arya a sword!
Guys! Don’t hug while holding swords! Bad plan!
Aww, they are so cute!
When she grows up she should definitely marry him
Don’t tell me they indoctrinated you already
I got confused who was who…
So is she his sister?
That seems to be okay in this world
Jon is the bastard son of Ned
I knew that, I didn’t realise Arya was a Stark too
Arya is a Stark, daughter of Ned and Catelyn
There are a lot of them
She was the one who shot the arrow!
I know who she is!! They just didn’t say she was a Stark!
I thought she was just part of another family!
Basically everyone in Winterfell right now is either a Stark or a royal (Baratheons)
Apart from Theon the captive, who is a Greyjoy
So it redhead who wants to be queen is also a Stark?
Who is Theon?
You’ll get to know him soon
I had no idea for a while who anyone was
You get there eventually
Older boy Stark seems nice
I love him
Apart from accidentally wanting to marry off siblings, I’m not doing too badly
Look, I’m not totally clear on medieval customs, but I’m pretty sure if the king asks you to do something, you do have to do it
Awww, Papa Stark just told Jon he was his son and it was lovely
And he’s going to tell him about his mother
Mama Stark seemed to not like Jon
That makes a lot of sense
What with the tangible proof of her husband sleeping with someone else
The king is a class act
Haha that he is
No, Ned is right to feel guilty for cheating on his wife
Even if it did produce sweetie-pie Jon
Dude, the king is a dick
This is the beautiful world of GoT where people can be simultaneously dicks and class acts
I was being sarcastic when I called him a class act
He really really really isn’t
Oh man now I am questioning my remembrances of him sometimes being a class act
AND YET YOU LIKE VISERYS
HE IS JUST NORMAL ENJOYABLE VILLAINY
Robert is just gross
Is Jon Snow on the watch?
No, the people of the Night’s Watch are even further north
It’s just Tyrion is talking about being on the watch to Jon
Jon is considering it
A lot of bastards do
not many dwarves
Heeey! Bran’s not going to die!
Who is the six year old Stark?
Robb seems lovely
Nooo! Don’t kill Bran!
Or Mama Stark!
No no no
Go dog go!
Ugh, skinning rabbits, that’s yucky
Silly rabbit, skinning is for kids
Haha, silly girl, thinking moon is egg when it is clearly goddess, wife of sun
“I was 9 when my mother sold me to the pleasure house, but don’t worry, I didn’t touch a man for three years”
Because 12 is a way better age
Mama Stark is doing some investigation
Detective Stark is all over this plan
She has thought of everything
Like an intense sniffer dog
Religion in this show: different groups, different beliefs? Or all roughly the same?
a few different
The old gods, who are the tree-faces
the new gods, who are pretty forgettable
and the drowned god, who is my favourite
and some others maybe
Dany is doing some learnings
The new Gods are seven Gods, the number gets mentioned a lot
The drowned god priests have to be drowned and resuscitated for ordainment
and their motto is “What is dead may never die”
They’re the raddest bunch
Also known as “Mr Dany”
Haha, giving her booze and calling her a princess
blondie brat you are a smooth operator
Oh Blondie Brat
Eww, don’t go stabbing butcher’s boys
Oh Blondie Brat
Whoa, that was not a nice thing to call someone
What was it?
Not nice at all
Blondie brat is such a sook
Oh Blondie Brat
such a sook
Arya continues to be awesome though
Every scene with him you’ll find something more to love
Is Joffrey blondie brat?
I believe so
Unless I’ve gotten very confused
Oh no, Red-head Stark is not the witness you want
Arya you are not helping your case
No wonder blondie brat is such a sook with the way his mother carries on
At least Robert is actually being classy now
Like classy for real
Ugh, Queenie pants, you don’t need to kill redhead’s wolf
I DON’T LIKE QUEEN STUPIDHEAD
I was just about to ask who is long haired guy giving redhead a cuddle, but that is probably too vague for you
Or too specific
I mean it could be Ned?
The puppies were the the best part of this show, don’t start killing them off
Papa Stark? He left to kill puppy stark
I thought Robb stayed back with Detective Stark
Ok not sure who long haired hug was then
Bran’s eyes opened!
MAYBE THIS WON’T BE THE WORST SHOW EVER
So is that end of ep 2?
So: Stark family – Papa Ned Stark, Detective Stark, Robb, red-head, Arya, Bran, six-year-old and Jon Snow
Ned, Catelyn, Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rickon, Jon Snow
I love some of the nicknames that come out of this show
I knew one character as “Boobs-boobs” for an entire season
Blondies: Visery and Dany, Mr Dany plus some advisor whose voice is very familiar
King Robert, Queenie, Joffrey the blondie brat, Jaime and Tyrion
Plus five puppies whose numbers are slowly dwindling despite being the best characters in the show
Okay: Mr Dany is Khal Drogo.
Puppies are Squeakers, Meekers, Bleakers, Cheekers, and Sir Samuel Shoulderton Fourth.
… One of them is definitely named Lady and also definitely dead
Now: crown Visery has his eye on, is it Robert’s? Or a different crown entirely?
It’s the crown to Westeros, yes
Any time someone mentions the crown or the Iron Throne that’s what they mean
So currently Robert is winning?
20 years prior he had a rebellion
Called “Robert’s Rebellion”
They threw out the Targaryens who ruled supreme for centuries
And Papa Stark fought in that rebellion?
Yes! Him and Robert were totally bros
Who are the Targaryens? The Blondies?
Dany and Viserys are the only surviving Targaryens IIRC
I could probably summon actual puppy names if you wanted?
If you like
Robb: Grey Wind. Jon: Ghost. Sansa: Lady. Arya: Nymeria. Bran: Summer. Rickon: Shaggy Dog
Rickon is 6
Rickon sounds like the best
Rejected names include: Squeakers, Meekers, Bleakers, Cheekers, and Sir Samuel Shoulderton Fourth
You mean SECRET UNDERCOVER CODE NAMES DETECTIVE STARK ASSIGNED THEM
Thoughts from Episode 1 & 2?
I like it!