[[Episode 3]]
Hmm, I suspect it is time for dinner and more GoT
Episode 3, promisingly titled “Lord Snow”
Gosh Joffrey is a wimp
He is the just the worst in every way
‘If you want to fuck painted whores, go ahead. Anything you want’
Queenie you are the best at giving motherly advice
Wait wait wait, did the butcher’s boy die?!
He sure did!
Ayra continues to be my favourite
The sword looks so tiny when Papa Stark holds it
“Try not to stab your sister with it”
Some good fathering going on there
Ned’s a good egg
I would like to know more about the white walkers also
Oh Bran, poor lamb, better to have something wrong with your legs than be dead
Good lord there are a lot of prostitutes in this show
It’s one of the many dangers inherent to GoT
Mr Owner-of-the-Dagger seems cool
Being a bastard would suck
I have a friend who is a bastard
he will never be king but otherwise is coping fine
Ravens seem so much cooler than pigeons
I don’t think anyone has ever argued to the contrary
Haha, oh Papa Stark
Detective Stark really *is* hiding in the brothel
Tyrion! You are the best!
“What of our faces?”
“It’s just, I think they would look good on spikes, I’ll have to suggest it to my sister”
Elizabeth as my sister it is your responsibility to keep my head off of a spike
Also to keep me off of the pole
I’ll do what I can
Jaime you are not very nice
Papa and Detective Stark are cute together
No wonder the Starks are generally cool
Are they reminiscing over first kills?
Yeah basically
Medieval conversation is weird
It’s all “Who did you kill first?” or “What limbs did you lose to the plague?”
Don’t talk about weeing and then demand wine, Robert
“Kingslayer” what a nickname
“Any last words?”
“I cut his head off, so no”
Dany is taking charge
What’s Dany been up to lately?
Well, Visery just threatened her and was shown what for
Visery is not proving himself as regal as his sister
Was ‘what for’ sharp?
A whip around the neck
It was quite cool
I like Dany
I do like when he realises how crap he is
(Although she did not wield said whip)
He just didn’t seem to quite realise he had no power until then
All he has is his name and his big mouth ruins that
More medieval conversational pieces: what’s the strangest thing you’ve eaten?
Tyrion is the best
List of the best:
-Tyrion
That checks out, Elizabeth
Dany is apparently pregnant
OR her servant wanted a good excuse for a grope
I suspect the latter
Or both
Hey, being preggers has some perks
Goat for dinner
Wait, are the seasons skewy?
Skewy how?
Tyrion said he’s only seen 7 or 8 winters, and these other guys reckon it’s been summer for 3 years
Is it metaphor or literal?
Literal!
Seasons are weird in that world
They can last years
In the book I think they say they’re in the 8th year of Summer
Hence why “Winter is Coming” is such a thing
Right, that’s what I was wondering
I thought it was like peace versus war or something
Dany and Mr Dany seem happy, that’s good, I guess?
How are you feeling about Mr Dany?
Well, he seems okay. Like the most horrible thing he has done was contextually appropriate, and he doesn’t seem outright mean or vicious or anything
What did Mr Dany do?
Mr Dany – well, Dany wasn’t super keen to have sex with him, and that all seemed quite awful, but he wasn’t doing anything wrong according to their societies
It’s not cool regardless of the society though
“Better to be a rich cripple” very true, Tyrion, very true
Heee!! Ayra is getting “dancing” lessons!
I am loving this sword fighting lesson
Sword fighting?
I only remember the dancing lessons.
Ayra takes “dancing” lessons that are actually sword fighting lessons
So good!
Nope. It’s all dancing
WATER DANCING
Apologies
Water dancing, sword fighting, how could I confuse the two
The instructor is cool
Aw, Papa Stark came to watch
END EPISODE
Sometimes the episodes end without Bran being pushed out of a window
it is not often so we much enjoy it while it lasts
Those sound like the best episode endings
Well that episode was mostly cute and non-traumatic
Yay!
Maybe things are looking up?
Haha its so sweet that you think that
Sweet because it is true?!
Sweet gnarly at how radically accurate your predictions were
Let us go forth – next episode!
[[Episode 4]]
Bran!
You seem to be walking!
Yay!
Ugh, three eyed ravens ruin everything
Hmm, who is this middleman between Robb and Bran?
That’s Winterfell’s Maester
They’re like old teachers who wear lots of chains
Robb, Tyrion is cool. Be nice to him
“I’m not a cripple”
“Then I’m not a dwarf. My father will rejoice”
N’aww, Tyrion has brought Bran the ability to ride a horse!
Haha, and he goes off to sleep in the brothel recognising he is not welcome
Oh!
Captors! This implies this guy is the captive you mentioned
Captive in the roman style of a sort of long term hostage raised in the host family
Keeps his family loyal
Yup yup
If I ever have to go to the Night’s Watch boot camp I want Jon Snow defending me
Sam, I sympathise with you
Talking to someone who is thought to be a coward doesn’t mean you are a coward.
That makes no sense
Maybe not in Australia
in Westeros it all makes sense
Visery’s having a little sulk because his sister has a people and he doesn’t
“Why did you sell slaves?”
“I had no money and an expensive wife”
best moral reasoning ever
I think you’ve seen enough for this to not really be a spoiler:
One of the characters is a Cylon
You have been warned.
No way
“Well after 15 years in a pleasure house I imagine seeing the sky would make you happy”
NOPE dragons or bust
I like this servant girl
She is cool
Describe her?
Long brown hair, currently in a bath with Visery, taught Dany how to improve her sexual technique
Sexually aroused by dragons
“What did I buy you for? To make me sad?”
Oh Viserys
Sansa, only having girls doesn’t go well for Queens
I wouldn’t advise it
Running a kingdom seems an expensive task
“Summer snows”, that would explain why it is summer and also snowing
“Last words are usually as significant as first words” that’s kinda cute
“Poison is a woman’s weapon”
Papa Stark, you are not as good an investigator as Detective Stark
Ayra is so cute
Arya is so cute!
Sam and Jon are clearly going to be the best team
Oh Sammy
It’s okay, you’re friends with Jon now
Guy-who-owns-brothels-and-is-still-in-love-with-Detective-Stark, you are a cool dude
That’s Peter!
Peter Baelish
aka Little Finger
Not our brother Peter
He would probably have mentioned it if he was in Game of Thrones
So who is your FAVOURITE so far?
I can only have one favourite?!
You must choose!
It is hard, yes
I might have to go with Ayra
She seems a safe choice
I am super interested to see how Dany’s storyline unfolds, though
Yeah, she’s a cutie
In the books, I think Dany is like 13
Yeah, I thought she might be a young teen in this, aged up a bit so it’s a wee bit more palatable for audiences
Anyone you hate?
If so, who do you hate the most?
Hmmmm
Joffrey seems pretty irredeemable so far
Everyone else is interesting enough for me to be okay with
Assume they weren’t interesting who do you dislike?
Joffrey is just too realistically useless whiney self important brat
Jaime doesn’t seem too nice
And he tried to kill Bran
Sansa’s kinda irritating
Sansa is perfect!
Jon is defending Sam! Woo!
Random guy! Don’t be mean to Sam!
Haha, no one will fight Sam!
Sam is adorably confused!
Samsa is perfect!
Thorn, Jon is always right
Viserys, way to overreact
Dany is just being nice
Go Dany! Show Viserys what for!
N’aww, Sam you cutie-pie
Huh, is Snow like the generic last name for bastards from the north?
Yes!
That’s quite a cool bit of world building
Westeros is a fantastic world
I don’t know if it’s actually something that comes up, but there’s an expression in the world building community called “How do they wipe in Westeros?” which is basically talking about the importance of details
I also like how Ros must be the favourite prostitute, she keeps being mentioned
Ros wasn’t in the books, she’s there as an expository device in the show
Also only in the show: The Starks!
There is very little in the North in the books
Haha
Wait, the Iron throne, the Starks, is this show just a prequel for the Iron Man movies?
we have been rumbled
this was my way of getting you to watch Iron Man 2
(which is a bad film)
IS TONY STARK THE CYLON?!
Jon you are so lovely
Jon and Sam are such cuties
Thorn you are such a buzzkill
Arya so much cute
Baelish is also cool
Who is Jon Aron (guy who may have been murdered) in the grand scheme of things?
He was the hand of the king
I like how the horses wear skirt things
That match the shields
EWWWWWWW
ew?
GUY SPURTING BLOOD AFTER HAVING NECK STABBED IN JOUSTING TOURNAMENT
Damn, things are not looking good for Tyrion
EPISODE END
Are you watching another one?
Or being LAME
Being lame
I am sleeeepy
You are always sleepy!
Not true!
Sometimes I am dozy!
And sometimes snoozy!
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